Someone finally got around to testing the “infinite monkeys with inifinte typewriters” theory. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to get anything close to Shakespeare :

At first, said Phillips, “the lead male got a stone and started bashing the hell out of it.

“Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard,” added Phillips, who runs the university’s Institute of Digital Arts and Technologies.

Eventually, monkeys Elmo, Gum, Heather, Holly, Mistletoe and Rowan produced five pages of text, composed primarily of the letter S. Later, the letters A, J, L and M crept in.

Give one of those monkeys a “communications director” and he might be able to write something like this.