Jesus, this is weird:

May 29, 2003 | SYDNEY, Australia (AP) — A man shouting threats used two sharpened wooden stakes to try to force his way into the cockpit of a domestic Australian flight Thursday, stabbing two flight attendants before he was overwhelmed by the crew and fellow passengers, the government said.

Transportation Minister John Anderson described the man as “less than stable” and said the attack did not appear linked to terrorism. The plane returned to its departure city of Melbourne, where it landed safely and the Qantas attendants were hospitalized with stab wounds.

“Although it looks premeditated, it doesn’t look like it was an act of terrorism,” Anderson told a news conference.

However Anderson also said the man “seemed to be intent upon trying to force a nasty outcome, and if you call an attempt to, as I understand it, to crash an aircraft, you might call that a hijacking, but he was not able to do so.”

So, yeah … a distraught fan of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” unable to deal with the series’ end? I can relate. It was a very good show.

At least he didn’t try to light his shoe on fire. That’s all I’m saying.