Cuss Like A Conservative

The use of the word “crapweasel” in the post below reminded me that I’ve always meant to comment on the (mostly) conservative predilection for creating their own slang. You’d think the trend of just throwing two other words together would get old after a while, but words like “assclown” refuse to die. As such, here’s a simple way to create your own goofy-ass jargon. Just pick a word from each column and start cursing away :

Prefix Suffix
ass
crap
shit
fuck
turd
dick
butt
cock
poop 		weasel
burglar
clown
tard
gobbler
pirate
licker
munchkin
monkey

All in all, I still have yet to hear any cursing that rivals “Whistle-Ass”.


posted by greg on April 5, 2004 @ 9:39 am

10 comments

  1. You forgot a vital third component: Prefacing the profanity with “Traitorous”, “Treasonous”, “Idiotarian”, “Accomodationist”, or my personal favorite “Liberal”.

    Yes, the South park Republican sure do know how to party. Except for that whole “being a bunch of Fucktard Assclowns” thing. Zing!

    Comment by The immature Ross Lincoln — April 5, 2004 @ 9:29 am

  2. On most counts here, I agree. However, I don’t think you should allow conservatives to own “fucktard.” That is a perfectly normal expletive with a wide base of users and a rich and storied history of application. For example, my brother was a fucktard when he tried to whip me with a coathanger in a fight four years ago. But now he’s just an assmunch.

    Comment by dAnimal — April 5, 2004 @ 12:37 pm

  3. i really like ass-burglars and butt-munchkins!

    Comment by tom — April 5, 2004 @ 1:31 pm

  4. Cumbuzzard! Assrascal! Slutbunny! Whorebird!

    Comment by Mr. Rogers — April 5, 2004 @ 2:10 pm

  5. “Shitweasel” is actually a neologism from Steven King. His recent book Dreamcatcher used it to describe a type of alien being that uses the human body as a host.

    I don’t know exactly what that has to do with anything, though; it’s just a neat fact.

    Comment by boloboffin — April 5, 2004 @ 2:24 pm

  6. Fuck nut. It’s my favorite combination.

    Comment by Rook — April 5, 2004 @ 7:03 pm

  7. When the Plame case first broke, the wingnuts called it a ‘nothingburger’.

    Comment by Night Owl — April 5, 2004 @ 8:00 pm

  8. I believe “no-talent ass clown” was popularized in the brilliant movie Office Space. So I wouldn’t let Bush Cultists claim credit for that.

    The others, though… yeah, pretty dumb.

    Comment by V from VJ — April 6, 2004 @ 10:51 am

  9. Cockgobbler is also in Office Space.

    Comment by Silent Viewer — April 6, 2004 @ 12:16 pm

  10. I hadn’t noticed a conservative trend in this kind of construction - but then again, I don’t talk to any conservatives, really.

    “ass-napkin” and “ass-panda” are currently popular in my social circle.

    Comment by Hamilton Lovecraft — April 6, 2004 @ 9:36 pm

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