Check out this excerpt from of one of the most hilariously named sites I’ve ever seen, “John Kerry Is A Douche Bag But I’m Voting For Him Anyway - Dot Com”, in which the writers deconstruct the Kerry “flip-flops” section of George W. Bush’s re-election site :

Observe the liberal usage of paraphrasing. In bending words to fit situations, the ?…? is mans best friend. Perhaps it’s that… excluding… certain pieces… [makes] excerpts more… convincing. Granted, it could be the case that these are earnest summaries of what was said, but it seems that many times the ellipsis is heading off in a different direction (Affirmative Action, Raising Taxes During Economic Downturn, Litmus Tests for Judicial Nominees, Federal Health Benefits, Burma Sanctions, 1991 Iraq War Coalition). Also, there are abundant examples of paraphrasing not involving our three-dotted friend that are clearly quotes taken far out of context, or that have a misleading title that does not at all match the quote listed below (Iraq War, Gay Marriage Amendment, Attacking President During Time of War, Death Penalty for Terrorists, Cuba Sanctions, Health Coverage, Ballistic Missile Defense).

Additionally, there are a number of ?flip-flops? that do not appear to be ?flip-flops? at all. At best, they are minor shifts in opinion, and some of them are not even shifts, but two different opinions about two separate issues (Tapping Strategic Petroleum Reserve, War on Terror, Military Experience as Credential For Public Office, Medical Marijuana, Cuba Sanctions, Gay Marriage Amendment, Both Sides on the First Gulf War).

Of all these accusations, there are a few I would hope that John Kerry and any sensible person would ?flip-flop? over, given events that have transpired since the original quote and the more recent one. For starters, I am happy that Kerry and many others are actively trying to do away with the Patriot Act, despite the fact that it was passed almost unanimously. Shortly following 9/11, the general sentiment around America was a desire to hunt down terrorists at all costs, even at the expense of a violation of personal privacy. Times have changed between then and now, and while the Patriot Act may have served its purpose in fighting terrorism, it’s now being abused for non-terrorism causes, and that needs to stop. Also among notable ?I would’da changed my mind too? scenarios:

Death Penalty for Terrorists (One quote was taken before 9/11, the other was taken after)

No Child Left Behind (Kerry voted for this act, and now thanks to gross mishandling by the Bush administration, it is largely a failure… even Republicans disapprove of how Bush has handled No Child Left Behind)

NAFTA (Originally voting for this in 1993, after witnessing its less-than-stellar outcome, Kerry has expressed regret ten years later)

Leaving Abortion Up to the States (Originally for this approach in 1972, Kerry changed his stance in 1985. I think 13 years is a fair time to re-evaluate one?s position.)

Litmus Tests for Judicial Nominees (With the original quote from 1986, I think it?s fair to slightly change one?s position over the course of almost two decades.)

This is not even to mention the numerous ?flip-flops? that show Kerry supporting or not supporting something based on how he voted on a particular resolution. I have not the time nor the energy to look up and read through years-old legislation to find the true purpose of each resolution, but we can just assume that the Bush website has properly paraphrased these for us, right?

Among the instances of “doucheitude” cited is Kerry’s ridiculous motorcycle entrance on The Tonight Show. When I wrote about it at the time, I figured Kerry had jumped the shark. Considering his campaign’s fate since then, I think we can safely assume nobody’s going the be comparing me to Nostradamus or Miss Cleo any time soon.