Jesus Has Rollover Minutes And Unlimited Text Messaging

One of the funny things about living in Southern California is that you see cellphone towers all over the place disguised to look like palm trees. Apparently that’s not the only way cellphone companies hide their equipment (via BoingBoing):

European companies are finding ingenious ways to disguise ugly, but necessary, mobile phone antenna masts. Customers can pick everything from trees to crucifixes.
. . .
The latter crosses the line for some congregations, who are not willing to see Christ on a cross, with antennae sticking out here and there. The mayor of Schwabhausen, in deeply Catholic Bavaria, has come out against such an antenna in his village church. Mobile phone companies are hesitant as well.

“The churches actually don’t like it so much,” said Susanne Satzer-Spree, a Vodafone spokeswoman.

However, some houses of worship have managed to make their masts part of their identity.

“Everyone recognizes the church now,” said Johannes de Fallois, pastor at a church in Neuburg.

Would you go to a church with this on top?




Seriously, if anyone can track down a high quality version of this photo, I’ll be your best friend forever. I need a t-shirt with this on it.


posted by greg on June 22, 2004 @ 12:33 pm

26 comments

  1. That is one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen. I would die now if it meant I could go to Heaven and see Jesus texting Mary.

    Comment by E-Rock — June 22, 2004 @ 1:27 pm

  2. Funny, it reminds me of when a company i used to work for built a special antenna array for a similar cell-site where the best strategic location was the steeple of a church, but admittedly ours was simpler in that there were only the three crosses themselves to serve as antennae and no statuary.

    “…I call it my ‘Eloi, Eloi, lamai sabachtani‘ plan.”

    Comment by the crapture — June 22, 2004 @ 6:15 pm

  3. I’m not sure what that is, but it’s not a cellphone tower. Yes, cell towers come in some weird shapes and sizes (check out the gallery on http://www.engend.com ) but that isn’t one. Wrong style of antennas. Almost looks like an 800mhz repeater that’d be used for public safety trunked systems here in the States. Dunno what it’d be used for in Germany. Anyway I work for a wireless company, seen thousands of towers…it’s not.

    Comment by jdfensty — June 22, 2004 @ 7:35 pm

  4. agreed. it’s not a cell antenna. the array is more layed out for reception only. still crass to put jesus on it.
    KD7HDN

    Comment by K — June 22, 2004 @ 10:30 pm

  5. The very idea of coupling weekend minutes with profound guilt…ah, sorry, the Catholics already did that. Oh, well–nothing new under the radar.

    +++

    Comment by MJS — June 22, 2004 @ 10:34 pm

  6. DW is actually a highly respectable German news organization. I watch it every night at 2 am to practice my German! Maybe they have different antennae there, but DW is no NYT!

    Comment by ryan — June 22, 2004 @ 11:25 pm

  7. “it’s not a cell antenna. the array is more layed out for reception only.”

    Until I see further evidence to the contrary, I’m just going to go ahead and assume that this is the Vatican’s way of expressing their tacit approval of the NSA’s “Echelon” electronic-surveillence program. Jesus and George Bush want to know what we’re thinking! *Dons tinfoil hat*

    Comment by SalsaShark — June 23, 2004 @ 6:22 am

  8. This gives new meaning to the old spiritual “Jesus on the Mainline”.

    Comment by birdhaus — June 23, 2004 @ 9:58 am

  9. Anybody remember the country tune:

    Operator. Information. Get me Jeeeesus on the line….

    Covered a few years back by Manhattan Transfer. Looks like Jesus has gone wireless. Hallelujah and amen brothers and sisters!

    Comment by velvet jones — June 23, 2004 @ 11:13 am

  10. “….Can you hear me now, Lord?….Can you hear me NOW, Lord? damn these cell phone valleys….hello, Lord?……”

    Comment by old man wrinkle — June 23, 2004 @ 3:01 pm

  11. Sign of the times?

    I am not sure what THIS represents, but I found the link over at This Modern World….

    Trackback by The Gutless Pacifist — June 23, 2004 @ 6:12 pm

  12. Actually it would appear to be a UHF antennae.

    Comment by Bob — June 23, 2004 @ 7:51 pm

  13. the annals of religion, or what a metaphor

    Jesus is just all right with me. Via Tom Tomorrow….

    Trackback by blab-o-rama — June 24, 2004 @ 8:01 am

  14. I wonder if it’s set up to rotate for better reception…

    “If Jesus is facing East, the Simpsons must be on…”

    Comment by Jon H — June 24, 2004 @ 4:47 pm

  15. Great picture, great.

    And you know, I actually might go to a church with that on top.

    Comment by Zeke — June 24, 2004 @ 11:31 pm

  16. Christ died for our…? I have to admit that it seems a much more impressive spokesperson than Dennis Franz or Catherine Zeta-Jones.

    Comment by Management — June 25, 2004 @ 6:56 am

  17. This is priceless. And, ironically, it IS a perfect moment of Zen.

    “Mommy, Billy said Jesus answers his prayers because he’s got ADSL, and we just have a crummy 56K modem. Is it true?”

    Maybe in Texas…

    Tou-CHE, pussycat!

    Comment by FDanielH — June 25, 2004 @ 7:10 am

  18. i think it,s degraging the image of christ i would not attend a church with that on top christ died on the cross for our sins whoever though that christ on a cell phone pole was a joke mary

    Comment by mary — June 25, 2004 @ 8:49 am

  19. “Mommy, Billy said Jesus answers his prayers because he’s got ADSL, and we just have a crummy 56K modem. Is it true?”

    No, honey. Jesus loves all internet providers equally. He doesn’t answer your prayers because we’re heathen Democrats. Now eat your granola; it’s almost time for our ritual flag-burning.

    Comment by Ben S. — June 25, 2004 @ 10:50 am

  20. These are not functional antennas, suggesting that we are seeing a representaion or work of art.

    The “Yagi” style antennas have no driven elements, coaxial feeds or baluns. All elements are the same length. If the top antennas are supposed to be “log periodics”, they lack any apparent driving method for the elements. The lower right antenna is not a useful or functional design. The lower left antenna might be functional if there was an apparent feed, but it appears to be aimed toward the ground, and would not transmit a usable signal. My take: any suggestion that this is a cell, SMR or broadcast antenna is hogwash. It’s nice art, though.

    Comment by DoctorPixel — June 26, 2004 @ 12:16 pm

  21. I think you found THE caption for your T-shirt (posted by: old man wrinkle at June 23, 2004 03:01 PM):

    “….Can you hear me now, Lord?….Can you hear me NOW, Lord?..”

    Comment by RareWaves — June 26, 2004 @ 12:54 pm

  22. A very high-quality version of this photograph is available from http://www.portal-alliance.com. You can select language: English and browse by using a guest account. This picture is #1017408 (search by number). It is a photo of the antenna of Radio Vatican north of Rome that the government of Italy wants shut down due to the large incidence of leukemia in the area. The photograph is from 2001.

    Comment by richie — June 27, 2004 @ 1:18 am

  23. Sorry, there’s no web site at http://www.portal-alliance.com. The URL is available for $7.95 a year at http://www.Godaddy.com, though.

    IF these flimsy, non-working “antennas” WERE capable of transmitting actual signals, the size of the elements would limit power level: power would have to be very low. It’s unlikely to produce any health effects whatsoever (except perhaps distress in some of the people who view it).

    Comment by DoctorPixel — June 27, 2004 @ 2:09 pm

  24. I wonder if people text God or Mary or the saints.
    As in “praying through your cellphone.”
    You could combine this with PocketChapel…

    http://www.pocketchapel.com

    …and have the whole shebang on the road.

    In Japan people write prayers in wooden tablets
    and hang them near shrines, also in slips of paper.
    The iMode generation has perhaps already gone
    mobile with these prayers. How to find out…?

    Comment by hector — June 27, 2004 @ 5:16 pm

  25. RE: “It is a photo of the antenna of Radio Vatican north of Rome that the government of Italy wants shut down due to the large incidence of leukemia in the area. The photograph is from 2001″ posted by “Richie”.- – - – - – - -

    The leukemia controversy involves very large antennas comprising city blocks in area, and transmitted power levels in the short wave bands in the millions of watts. Perhaps the Pope needs to speak to God about the following:

    http://www.natcath.com/NCR_Online/archives/032301/032301f.htm

    Comment by Martin — June 28, 2004 @ 11:50 am

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    Trackback by ????????blog? — July 1, 2004 @ 6:27 am

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