They sure do love reminding people that Lincoln was a Republican, don’t they? I guess it does sound better than “The Party of Wallace” or “Home of the Southern Strategy” or “Where the Dixiecrats Settled”.

Arnold Schwarzeneger ranks right up there with Gallagher, Jeff Foxworthy, Yakov Schmirnoff, and Dat Phan as one of the shittiest, one-joke comedians in history :

SCHWARZENEGGER: What a greeting. Wow. This is like winning an Oscar — as if I would know.

(LAUGHTER)

Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called “True Lies.” And that’s what the Democrats should have called their convention.
. . .
And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don’t be economic girlie-men.
. . .
SCHWARZENEGGER: And, ladies and gentlemen, if you believe that we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism, then you are a Republican.
. . .
And you know what he said to me then? You know what he said to me then?

SCHWARZENEGGER: He said, “Arnold, I’ll be back.”

The funniest line of the night however was this one :

SCHWARZENEGGER: Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.

I said to my friend, I said, “What party is he?”

My friend said, “He’s a Republican.”

I said, “Then I am a Republican.”

Oh wait, that last part wasn’t a joke….

From the Bush twins’ cringe-inducing speech tonight :

B. BUSH: Take this. I know it’s hard to believe, but our parents’ favorite term of endearment for each other is actually “Bushy.”

(LAUGHTER)

And we had a hamster, too. Let’s just say ours didn’t make it.

(APPLAUSE)

J. BUSH: But, contrary to what you might read in the papers, our parents are actually kind of cool. They do know the difference between mono and Bono. When we tell them we’re going to see Outkast, they know it’s a band and not a bunch of misfits. And if we really beg them, they’ll even shake it like a Polaroid picture.

My girlfriend’s response : “Are they saying that their dad just let their hamster die?”

One of the events that seems to be getting a lot of mentions at the RNC is Bush’s visit to Ground Zero. I’ll admit that Bush’s “I can hear you” ad-lib was pretty damn good, but as William Saletan points out in Slate, it’s hardly heroic :

Now the Republican National Convention is showcasing Bush’s own heroic moment. As John McCain put it last night: “I knew my confidence was well placed when I watched him stand on the rubble of the World Trade Center with his arm around a hero of September 11 and, in our moment of mourning and anger, strengthen our unity and our resolve by promising to right this terrible wrong and to stand up and fight for the values we hold dear.”

Pardon me for asking, but where exactly is the heroism in this story?
. . .
Bush partisans point out that he did do things in the 9/11 aftermath. In his convention address last night, former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik recalled Bush’s famous visit to New York, “inspiring a nation as he stood on hallowed ground, supporting the first responders.”

OK, so Bush stood there. He “supported,” in a Clintonesque sense, the people who were doing something.

The Clinton reference is funny, since in all the effort to rewrite history and make it seem as if Bush rushed to New York to help out, everyone has forgotten that Bill got there first :

Over now familiar refrains of “that’s unreal,” and “I can’t believe it,” and pregnant moans of “wow,” a spectacle of a different kind captured unblinking New Yorkers yesterday afternoon. Out of Manhattan’s Union Square came a welcome and commanding sight: former President Bill Clinton, surrounded by a growing mass of people.
. . .
“We need to just bolster people’s spirits right now, and support the president and the government,” he said between handshakes. “They’re going to need some time with this.”

Clinton, who was in Australia when New York and Washington, D.C., were attacked, said he had spent the previous 24 hours flying to New York on an Air Force plane. He was kept informed of developments by his wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.).
. . .
Many said Clinton’s short appearance both magnified and made up for what they called President George W. Bush’s shortcomings during this crisis. The White House announced that the president would visit New York, for the first time, today.

“So far he has not been a comforting presence,” said Emily Vacchiano, 26, who lives in SoHo. “He has not conveyed compassion or strength. Just the sight of him [Clinton] cheered everyone up today.”

Michael Siller, 38, also of Manhattan said, “I didn’t vote for Clinton but at least I always felt he was in charge. That feeling has been missing here.”

Not that I’m trying to make the point that Clinton’s rushing to New York was an act of heroism or anything, but I think it’s important to point out that it was pretty common to hear “Where the hell is the President?” in the days immediately following 9/11.

Hell, the only reason 90% of Americans have even heard of Rudy Giuliani is because he was showing the leadership that the President lacked on that day. While Bush flying all over the country from one undisclosed location to another, Rudy was the one in front of the cameras trying to calm a frightened nation. Contrasted with the tough and somber statements that Guiliani made periodically, Bush’s brief remarks were barely memorable.

One could make the argument that Bush was too busy behind the scenes trying to figure out what happened and how to coordinate a response, but that doesn’t excuse the mythmaking that has accompanied his visit to Ground Zero. Based on the way people have been slobbering over this, you’d think the bullhorn he spoke through was the holy grail. Just because he made a photo-op at a mass grave and wooed the crowd doesn’t make up for the weakness of Bush’s efforts to soothe an emotionally wounded nation immediately after the attacks.

Jesus’s General tracked down the audio of the NPR reporter being protected from what the anchor jokingly referred to as “The Michael Moore Threat”. I’ve created an mp3 pf the remarks that you can download here . Here’s part of a rushed transcript of the exchange from JC’s site :

Seabrook: Yes, I am in the middle of a…you might be able to hear the Secret Service yelling into my mic at the same time. There, there are a bunch of Secret Service that have surrounded Michael Moore’s section. There are three or four reporters with him right now, but they are trying to kick all of the reporters and press photographers who are around him out of his area. The convention staff is also here. They’re standing here telling us that we have to move from this are…they’re obviously disturbed by the fact that Michael Moore is here and want as little public here as possible.

Stachio: Can we hear? Can we hear what’s going on? Can you stick a mic in there? I don’t know if we can hear.

Seabrook: Yeah…ah…eh…they’ve sort of moved me away from that area.

Stachio: I don’t understand. Who is it? Is it Secret Service?

Seabrook: It’s Secret Service which is interesting because the Secret Service of all agencies is the one that remains…is the least involved in the sort of political…political kinds of things, but of course they always cover the candidates and they have to be involved in the convention like this. They claim that what they’re doing is for safety reasons, although there is a almost nobody around Michael Moore right now.

And in case you’re wondering…yes, this is illegal :

Hatch Act for Federal Employees

The Hatch Act restricts the political activity of executive branch employees of the federal government, District of Columbia government and some state and local employees who work in connection with federally funded programs. In 1993, Congress passed legislation that significantly amended the Hatch Act as it applies to federal and D.C. employees. (These amendments did not change the provisions that apply to state and local employees.) Under the amendments most federal and D.C. employees are now permitted to take an active part in political management and political campaigns. A small group of federal employees are subject to greater restrictions and continue to be prohibited from engaging in partisan political management and partisan political campaigns.

The Secret Service is one of the “small group of federal employees” that is explicitly forbidden from engaging in partisan political activity.

One of the things I found distasteful about last night’s convention was the emphasis on 9/11. While it’s fair to mention the attacks to set up a debate about the appropriate response, last night’s convention seemed to revel in the details of the attacks.

The 9/11 tribute was a good example of what I’m talking about. It consisted of three women telling intimate stories about the deaths of their loved ones. I kept expecting them to jump in with “Timmy last words were : ‘Don’t trust those Massachusetts liberals’.” or something like that. While the ladies stayed above the fray, the underlying message seemed to be that Republicans mourn better than Democrats.

The dirty work came from “America’s Mayor” in an anecdote that I feel safe in saying is 100% bullshit. Since Rudy went off-script quite a bit last night, I’m including the transcript of what he said, not the “prepared remarks”. Rudy’s ad-lib has been italicized, though I’m sure the fact that his addition was the grizzliest part of his speech is just a coincidence :

GIULIANI: On September 11, this city and our nation faced the worst attack in our history. On that day, we had to confront reality.

For me, when I arrived there and I stood below the north tower and I looked up, and seeing the flames of hell emanating from those buildings, and realizing that what I was actually seeing was a human being on the 101st, 102nd floor that was jumping out of the building, I stood there, it probably took five or six seconds, it seemed to me that it took 20 or 30 minutes, and I was stunned.

And I realized, in that moment, in that instant, I realized we were facing something that we have never, ever faced before.

We had never been confronted with anything like this before. We had to concentrate all of our energy and our faith and our hope to get through those first hours and days. And we needed all the help that we could get and all the support that we could get.

And I will always remember that moment as we escaped the building that we were trapped in at 75 Barclay Street, and I realized that things outside might actually be worse than inside the building.

We did the best we could to communicate a message of calm and hope, as we stood on the pavement watching a cloud come through the cavernous streets of lower Manhattan.

Our people were so brave in their response.

(APPLAUSE)

At the time, we believed that we would be attacked many more times that day and in the days that followed. Without really thinking, based on just emotion, spontaneous, I grabbed the arm of then Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, and I said to him, “Bernie, thank God George Bush is our president.”

Well, I guess that’s all you need to know about Guiliani. Even at one of the worst moments in our nation’s history, he was a Republican hack.

Not that you could tell by the cleaned up transcript on the GOP website, but did anyone else catch Guiliani’s throwaway line last night about having the Republican convention in New York? It was something like “I finally feel like I’m at home”. If I was a New Yorker, that line would really piss me off. He was elected twice, yet the only time the city feels like “home” is when they import a bunch of conservatives?? What a dick.

UPDATE : I found a real transcript. Here’s what he said :

GIULIANI: This is the first Republican convention ever held here in New York City.

(APPLAUSE)

I’ve never seen so many Republicans in New York City. It’s great.

(APPLAUSE)

I finally feel at home.

Around 6:30 yesterday, during NPR’s coverage, one of their reporters was trying to interview Michael Moore. After asking one question, she was pushed aside by the Secret Service. When they cut back to her, she seemed really shaken. She said that the Secret Service was trying to disperse the crowd around Moore due to “security reasons” despite the fact that the area they were in was relatively open. From the tone of her remarks it seemed as if the SS was doing their best to make sure no reporters spoke to Moore. Has anyone else heard about this? I tried to find a clip or something on NPR’s website, but there was mention of the incident anywhere.

You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me?! They’ve started the first night of the GOP convention with a medley of Broadway tunes, a “skit” in which an interview with a delegate is interrupted by a cell phone call, and a parody of the Saturday Night Live opening credits?????? After all the ink that was wasted complaining that the senate Convention was too “scripted”, if these douchebags get a free pass, I’m gonna flip out.

The fact that the word “Bush” is a slang term for vagina and the name of our president isn’t funny any more. It stopped being funny in 1988 or so. If you really want to use your moment in the spotlight to yell something naughty, try something more clever like “George Bush is a piece of shit”.

The word out of New York is that GOP now stands for God’s Official Party. For those of you who are comfortable speaking for god, you can pick up this bumper sticker :

Before you pull out your wallet, let me remind you of something your God had to say :

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything–all she had to live on.”

- Mark 12:41-44

Does this really jibe with the ongoing attempts by the Republican party to shift the tax burden from the rich to the poor? Make no mistake about it. When you lower income taxes for the rich and strive to eliminate capital gains and inheritance taxes, while leaving payroll taxes untouched, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Perhaps a Bible verse that would accurately describe the Republican party is this one :

[Jesus] replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:
“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.’”

- Mark 7:6-7

It’s hard to believe that any group of people who are more concerned with saving money than saving lives has any business speaking for Jesus.

UPDATE : Brad DeLong notices this interesting “coincidence” :

What is Hezbollah?

Hezbollah is a Lebanese group of Shiite militants that has evolved into a major force in Lebanon’s society and politics. It opposes the West, seeks to create a Muslim fundamentalist state modeled on Iran, and is a bitter foe of Israel. The group’s name means ?party of God.?

Is it really a good idea for the Repubs to be stealing their party motto from a terrorist group?

Okay, somebody at CNN has a good sense of humor. When cutting to commercial from their convention coverage, they played “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. For those unfamiliar with the song, here’s some lyrics :

Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they’re red, white and blue.
And when the band plays “Hail to the chief”,
they point the cannon right at you.

It ain’t me, it ain’t me.
I ain’t no senator’s son.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me.
I ain’t no fortunate one.

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord don’t they help themselves.
But when the tax man comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale.

It ain’t me, it ain’t me.
I ain’t no millionaire’s son.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me.
I ain’t no fortunate one.

Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war.
And when you ask them, “How much should we give?”
They only answer “More! More! More!”

Too bad that viewpoint isn’t shared by the people actually commenting on the convention. So far, I have yet to hear anyone describe the proceedings derisively as “overly scripted”.

Nevertheless, the choice of CCR by some anonymous person in the control room is a pretty apt one. Here’s some more background on the song from an interview a few years ago :

John Fogerty : Nowadays ['Fortunate Son'] works really great . . . It’s a really cool rock & roll song. It’s really fun to sing, it’s fun for the band to play, it all really works as rock & roll the same way that ‘Jailhouse Rock’ worked or ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’ . . . But . . . it was born out of a lot of anger and resentment and almost primal rage at the situation which had repeated itself in the ’60s that’s been going on since two guys got together and decided to be an army and the one guy said, ‘Well, I’m more privileged than you, so you go fight, and I’ll stay home’ . . . I was really outraged because this was guys my age. I had already been in and out of the Army myself, the Army Reserve, and for the exact same cause that people were going over for now. And I focused pretty severely on Richard Nixon’s kids and Eisenhower’s kids and some others who were either not going to serve or they were going to serve in some showbiz capacity. It just really made me mad and I always thought, ‘Why don’t they send all the gray-haired senators over to fight and leave us home? We’ll race our cars up and down the street or something.’

Does this remind you of anyone we know?

On Friday morning, we’ll know for sure whether or not Bush will be serving a second term. Why so early? Because the news on Friday is going to be mixed between two big stories. One is going to be Bush’s string of promises and “optimistic” talk on Thursday night? The other will be the evidence that will determine whether Bush’s words will be seen as those of a leader whose policies are working or a moron who’s completely out of touch with the mainstream.

Remember a few weeks ago when economists were stunned by the numbers that showed only 32,000 new jobs created during July? When that came out, I posted this graphic that contrasted the job creation this year :

Considering the expectations (blue line) and reality (red line) of the jobs creation, economists are waiting with baited breath to see if July’s numbers are an aberration or a sign that we’re facing “stagflation”. Based on the current trend, things don’t look good for Bush.

The August job creation numbers come out early this Friday morning.

Regardless of what Bush says, it will be reported alongside the Bureau of Labor Statistics report. If the numbers are anything like March or April, we should start looking towards 2008, but if the job creation is weak, the stories will contrast Bush’s “tax cuts are working” rhetoric with the BLS’s “no, they aren’t” statistics.

I’m so goddamn tired of all the negativity right now I could scream. Refuting all these lies about John Kerry’s service has been so draining, I feel like the whole purpose of these attacks is to make the left too tired to fight back. It doesn’t help that John Kerry’s rope-a-dope campaigning style makes it feel like we’re defending a guy too weak to defend himself. With all the frustrating minutiae of these attacks distracting the campaigns from real issues, it’s been tempting to turn off the TV, stop reading the newspaper, request an absentee ballot, and hope there’s good news waiting for us on the morning of Nov. 3rd.

But it looks like we’re on the other side of it now. The power of the Swift Boat Vets attacks is fading and the public is increasingly seeing this as a dirty tricks campaign on behalf of Bush. With GOP convention starting on Monday, I hope there is truth in the reports that Bush will be unveiling an actual agenda next week :

After a tumultuous first term in the White House, US President George W. Bush will unveil his policy priorities for an eventual second term at next week’s Republican National Convention.

“He’ll talk about the clear differences that voters face,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. “It’ll very much be a forward-looking speech talking about his agenda for America that builds upon his record of results.”

Bush is scheduled to speak on September 2, the last day of the convention to be held in New York starting on Monday, and formally accept the party’s nomination to run against Democratic party hopeful Senator John Kerry.
. . .
The president’s acceptance speech is expected to be a careful balancing act that will include defense of his record as well as new promises.

Unfortunately, having sat through a number of Bush speeches over the last few years, I really doubt there will be much substance in his acceptance speech. Nevertheless, I’m starting to get worried.

Like I mentioned in a previous post, Bush shouldn’t be taken for granted. While I think he’s an intellectual lightweight and a huge failure, the American public by and large doesn’t share my opinion. The reaction to his speech is all that matters, not the substance (or lack thereof) contained within it. While it’s easy to look at quotes by Kerry about Bush’s debating powress as a form of reverse psychology, we should remember that Bush wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t have a knack for exceeding expectations.

So I’ll be watching the upcoming convention with trepidation. On one hand, I keep reminding myself that this is the third time I’ve had this feeling this year. As with the other two times, we were told that Bush planned to unveil a big plan that will make him irresistible to undecided voters. Luckily for us, his plans to rid professional sports of drugs and send men back to the moon were as well received as a fart joke during a funeral.

On the other hand, there’s always the chance that he has a huge surprise that could shift the foundations of this election. Replacing Cheney with McCain? Dismantling the IRS? Bin Laden in handcuffs? Any big news could seriously harm the Dems. Considering that the polls have shifted back in Bush’s direction, a mid-sized post-convention bounce could be enough to put Kerry on the defensive for the next two months. In an election like this one, the only person who should have to defend himself is the incumbent. Let’s just hope he isn’t able to “straight talk” his way through the debates.

This is huge. Here’s a video of Ben Barnes, the former Lieutenant Governor of Texas, apologizing for helping Bush cut in line to get into the National Guard. Here’s a transcript from Josh Marshall :

Let?s talk a minute about John Kerry and George Bush and I know them both. And I?m not name dropping to say I know ?em both. I got a young man named George W. Bush in the National Guard when I was Lt. Gov. of Texas and I?m not necessarily proud of that. But I did it. And I got a lot of other people into the National Guard because I thought that was what people should do, when you’re in office you helped a lot of rich people. And I walked through the Vietnam Memorial the other day and I looked at the names of the people that died in Vietnam and I became more ashamed of myself than I have ever been because it was the worst thing that I did was that I helped a lot of wealthy supporters and a lot of people who had family names of importance get into the National Guard and I?m very sorry about that and I?m very ashamed and I apologize to you as voters of Texas.

Expect every blogger to the left of Zell to be linking to this one. Let’s see the K/E people make a web video out of this one. And while they’re at it, I’d love to see this one show up on the news. Of course, I’d be kidding myself to think that this would get half the attention than those Swift Boat liars have been getting.