Did I Mention I’m An Actor?

Arnold Schwarzeneger ranks right up there with Gallagher, Jeff Foxworthy, Yakov Schmirnoff, and Dat Phan as one of the shittiest, one-joke comedians in history :

SCHWARZENEGGER: What a greeting. Wow. This is like winning an Oscar — as if I would know.

(LAUGHTER)

Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called “True Lies.” And that’s what the Democrats should have called their convention.
. . .
And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don’t be economic girlie-men.
. . .
SCHWARZENEGGER: And, ladies and gentlemen, if you believe that we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism, then you are a Republican.
. . .
And you know what he said to me then? You know what he said to me then?

SCHWARZENEGGER: He said, “Arnold, I’ll be back.”

The funniest line of the night however was this one :

SCHWARZENEGGER: Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.

I said to my friend, I said, “What party is he?”

My friend said, “He’s a Republican.”

I said, “Then I am a Republican.”

Oh wait, that last part wasn’t a joke….


posted by greg on August 31, 2004 @ 8:35 pm

5 comments

  1. Bush by Landslide

    I’ve gone on record here that Bush will win in November. I‘ve changed my mind. Bush will win by a massive landslide. Here’s why; #1 The Goverernator Here’s the opening text of Arnold’s speech: “Thank you. What a greeting! This

    Trackback by Human Bacon — September 1, 2004 @ 5:38 am

  2. I wonder if Arnold was filming his gay porn that he starred in and the nixon speech was playing in the background and that’s the moment he decided he was a Republican?

    Comment by Paul M. — September 1, 2004 @ 5:38 am

  3. Arnold what a phony! With all that botox, he is the real “girlie man.”
    Not to mention his gay porn past.

    Comment by Stephen Fleming — September 1, 2004 @ 6:08 am

  4. Bush by Landslide: Part 2 - Electric Bugaloo

    As if i weren’t feeling bad enough about a Bush victory: Sources: Democratic leaders urge Kerry campaign changesNEW YORK (CNN) — Democratic leaders, increasingly concerned that John Kerry’s presidential campaign is adrift, are urging the presidential …

    Trackback by Human Bacon — September 1, 2004 @ 6:42 am

  5. It just fucking baffles me how far he’s gone on the same goddamn schtick! Seriously, that really is his one joke! “Something something something that references one of the retarded-ass movies I’ve been in!!!” (Uproarious applause.)

    And god help us, the American people can’t fucking get enough of it. Maybe we deserve what we’re getting.

    Comment by Brianotron — September 1, 2004 @ 12:18 pm

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