Zapruder Jr.
Nothing can stop the forensic power of the blogosphere. In light of the ass-whooping Bush took in last week’s debate, the conservative blogosphere is taking a break from listening to John Kerry speeches backwards to do a little detective work. Why? To prove that Kerry cheated. After all, that’s the only way he could have possibly won, right?
And the “evidence” that Kerry cheated is a grainy, zoomed in portion of the debate video that proves that he pulled something out of his jacket.
See? The blurry part of the photograph could only be what the conservative blogosphere says it is. So with a grainy video and some encouragement from their big brother Matt, the wingers declared that Kerry was using a cheat sheet.
But wait, Fox News and the NY Post say it was a pen. Having already arrived at the conclusion that John Kerry is a cheater, the pull out this quote from the 32 slabs of granite upon which the Kerry and Bush campaigns etched their Memorandum of Understanding :
(c) No props, notes, charts, diagrams, or other writings or other tangible things may be brought into the debate by either candidate.
…
(d) Notwithstanding subparagraph 5(c), the candidates may take notes during the debate on the size, color and type of paper each side prefers. Each candidate must submit to the staff of the Commission prior to the debate all such paper and any pens or pencils with which a candidate may wish to take notes during the debate, and the staff or commission will place such paper, pens and pencils on the podium, table or other structure to be used by the candidate in that debate.
So with that pithy quotation, the Freepers are taking a victory lap around the internet, confident in their victory over that fucktard (or assnugget, scrotum clown, or whatever made-up curse word is popular this week) Hanoi John.
But what a second…..
Over at AmericaBlog, they’ve got a video of Bush doing the same damn thing :
With one notable exception. This time it definitely isn’t a pen, as you can see by this image that Atrios posted today :
Since the conservative reaction has set the precedent that an untrained partisan can make definitive judgments about a blurry portion of a zoomed-in photograph, let me say that I am 110% certain that the photograph above shows Bush with a printed cheatsheet. Having set through a bunch of cop and lawyer shows, I can say with a certain amount of expertise that there’s no way the sheet of paper on Bush’s podium are the notes that he took during the debate.
That said, I think I can speak for most of the blogosphere when I say : Who fuckin’ cares? The “Memorandum of Understanding” is a bunch of horseshit anyways. As far as I’m concerned, both sides can come with whatever notes, cheatsheets, or props that they want. If anything, it would make the debates a whole lot funnier to see Bush responding to each question with “Time Out!” followed by his flipping through his notes looking for the section where he’s spelled out the names of world leaders phonetically.
Like all scurrilous charges brought up by the right-wing, there’s a gaping logical flaw in this whole “Kerry is a cheater” pseudo-scandal. Let’s assume for a moment that John Kerry did cheat and pulled out a ream of notes from his jacket. If that’s the case and John Kerry had been breaking the rules, how is it his fault that Bush is bitchy and retarded?
(Thanks to Oliver Willis for bringing this to my attention and AmericaBlog to following the story so closely.)
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, the wingers declared that Kerry was using a cheat sheet.
The “wingers” (at least not this winger) “declared” no such thing.
And your testimony about the material on Bush’s podium is using the same rank speculation that you accuse the “wingers” of.
In addition, you don’t seem to grasp that paper material was allowed by the terms of the debate, but not allowed to be brought in. The video that “proves” that Bush brought the material (the unfolding Willis footage) is less conclusive than the Kerry video that shows him remove the pen.
You are throwing a stone from a glass house, and it amazes me that you can’t even grasp the nature of your behavior.
Comment by Bill from INDC — October 4, 2004 @ 6:47 pm
What is completely amazing about this is that the rightwingers still can’t explain how Kerry’s having a pen made GW look like mush on the podium. How can a pen be mightier than Bushs Bullshit?
I don’t believe for a single millisecond that Kerry cheated. I am more inclined to believe that Bush was the one who needed cheat sheets {and if he did and still messed up this bad, then please get Bush out of office and in for a check up}. Kerry was on top of his game, and Bush displayed his skills like a trooper {a very bad and mentally challenged trooper}.
Lets watch Edwards mop the floor with the lame excuse for a VP Cheney!!!!
Michael Uman
Comment by Umanity — October 4, 2004 @ 6:56 pm
The winger above has it about right. If those pictures of Bush are the best we can do we may as well get off the point already.
They have a pic of him reaching in his jacket and the best we can do is a series of pics of nothing?
That is a pretty sad display which has me wondering if I should delete you from my list. I expect you at least think about what your posting.
Lets have no more of these silly Drudge style postings unless you will clue us in that its a joke.
Comment by Fr33d0m — October 4, 2004 @ 11:53 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but weren’t Greg’s accusations about Bush supposed to be “using the same rank speculation that [he] accused the “wingers” of”? Wasn’t the POINT to show that it was just as illogical and inconclusive as the accusations against Kerry?
It sure looks like he’s being sarcastic to me, and I actually thought it was a very well-written appeal to logic and common sense. But maybe I completely missed the point.
Comment by Ruth — October 5, 2004 @ 1:29 am
I interpreted it as sarcasm, but this is my first time reading this blog so I may not be one to judge.
Check this out… a neocon blog I read posted this:
http://antiprotester.blogspot.com/2004/10/did-kerry-cheat_03.html
Mentions the Kerry cheat sheet bullshit, then goes on to complain about the liberally biased LIGHTING ON THE SET.
Comment by Shannon Hubbell — October 5, 2004 @ 4:53 am
Ruth is right! Ruth is right! Everyone read what Ruth wrote.
Comment by Gregzilla — October 5, 2004 @ 5:46 am
Let’s assume for a moment that John Kerry did cheat and pulled out a ream of notes from his jacket. If that’s the case and John Kerry had been breaking the rules, how is it his fault that Bush is bitchy and retarded?
LOL
Comment by eRobin — October 5, 2004 @ 7:24 am
Obviously, Bush had his Bible on the podium. I can’t help but wonder, if God chose Bush to be president,why did he make him look like an jackass? Maybe God has changed his mind (flip flopped) since Bush squandered his opportunity to make this world a better place to live. Perhaps Bush is just not praying enough. Afterall, praying is hard work.
Comment by Becky — October 5, 2004 @ 7:41 am
Devil Kerry Cheats In Debates
things fall apart was also able to transcribe the words spoken by Kerry; again, this incident happened so quickly that it was heard by viewers of the debate on only a subconscious level.
“Followers of Bush and people of Earth, know this — upon my i…
Trackback by things fall apart — October 5, 2004 @ 9:18 am
Bush only says that Jesus is his favorite philosopher. Now if GW would only read his teachings.
Comment by Peter — October 5, 2004 @ 1:19 pm
And your testimony about the material on Bush’s podium is using the same rank speculation that you accuse the “wingers” of.
Bill, I have to say this made me laugh out loud. Were you actually too dense to get the point, or were you trying to do some sort of “meta-irony” thing?
Comment by EH — October 6, 2004 @ 6:32 pm