HOORS ! HOORS! HOOOOOORS!!!

I think we knew that. I just really like posting it.

Foreword By General Milton Steemer,
Inspector-General Of The Department Of Homeland Financial Security

Dear Fellow Americans: Despite the Emergency, and the losses our nation has been asked to bear, our society is still productive and vital. Our workforce is committed to the goals of Freedom at home and across the world. America’s employed millions have sacrificed for a greater good, and with god’s help, success which we will ultimately claim can be shared with grateful peoples around the globe. Even in the humblest occupations, all of us will share in that day of victory.

However, each of us must plan for a time when we are no longer able to meet the fierce demands of competition in a global marketplace. And that’s where sound financial planning, smart choices, may help you to enjoy your Golden Years.

Many people are frightened of the future, and unsure if the Revised Social Security system will adequately provide for their retirement. Critics used to say those revisions were unnecessary; that other countries in Europe used better retirement systems. To them, I say: This is the United States of America, not someplace where communist-era fiscal policy has meant disaster and poverty for its seniors. God has blessed our great nation with much; it’s leaders are wise. We would never make decisions which would harm you. As we trust in you, have faith in the higher power guiding this great land.

This publication will echo many of your basic questions about the revised Social Security system, and may answer them in a straightforward manner. You’ll find that, after reading this pamphlet, the few critics of this landmark program may have been misguided — and that your retirement future may be brighter than a few “sourpusses” would have us believe.

May god bless you, and continue to bless America. Sincerely, Gen. Milton Steemer, USA (Ret.)

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Q. My name is Ted; I’m 25 years old and live in Wisconsin. Under the old Social Security program, what could I have expected to receive in retirement benefits?

A. Unless changes were made, by the time you reached age 63 in 2042, benefits for all retirees would have been cut by 27 percent, and would have continued to be reduced every year thereafter. If you lived to be 100 years old in 2079 (which will be almost common by then), your scheduled benefits would have been reduced by 33 percent from 2005 levels.

Ted, if you like eating cat food, this would have been the plan for you! Fortunately, America’s leadership cared about its seniors, and wisely turned low-rising benefits into the possibility of exciting financial rewards for educated risk-takers!

Q. My name is Laurie; I live in Virginia, am 60, and wanted to retire in two years. I have my retirement account with Merril-Lynch-Amoco. It hasn’t performed as well as a friends’ account with MitsuiCitigroup. It looks like I will have to work another five years just to get to where I am today, and if I adjust for inflation I may have to really adjust my standard of living when I retire.

A. Laurie, you’re part of a responsible, hard-working culture. We’re not children — we all know things sometimes don’t turn out as we hoped. It’s life. You know you won’t starve, and in this increasingly troubled world, that’s truly one of god’s blessings.

You have to retire with what you have, not with what you want — if wishes were horses, eh Laurie? But we suggest meeting with your financial planner, to discuss your concerns. And, who knows? If he picks the right set of winners in the NASDAQ, it could be caviar wishes and champagne dreams!

Q. My name is Jamel; I live in Detroit, Michigan. I worry about my mom. She lost most of her retirement when her brokerage company went bankrupt after the scandal. The government insurance only paid for 30%. She worked as a cleaning lady for forty years to save for going home to live in Georgia. What can she do?

A. Jamel, our nation’s seniors who find themselves in awkward circumstances do have options, and your government has been there to provide financial assistance to faith-based organizations, such as the PTL Senior Outreach and House Of Victory group homes. All are maintained under Federal guidelines for senior assisted living (see GAO Pub. 519, “What To Do When Mom Must Go”), and while these homes are exempt from Federal or state regulation, they are held to the highest publicly-understood standards of hygene and nutrition. You mother will be in the lord’s tender mercy, Jamel. It’s part of the Plan we all must follow!

A. Bill, our government owes you a great debt of thanks. By operating your own business, you showed yourself to be a contributor to America’s greatness, and a good steward of the land. Thanks to Schedule E of the Social Security revisions, for each dollar in gross profit your company reports, the government will deposit a dollar in a retirement fund or individual bank account of your choice. It’s a way of saying “thank you, Bill!” for your years of hard work — and your outward success mirrors the esteem in which you’re held by the lord, Bill!

Q. My name is Rose. I am fifty-nine and live in New York City. I chose the one-time option in 2006, and kept my retirement plan under the old system, and didn’t privatize. Now I am told my benefits will be only a little more than half what I expected because of government debt. What happened? What will I do?

A. That’s an excellent question, Rose; what will you do? Since the Emergency, our nation has taken on additional sacrifices to weather this unpleasant little patch. Our government has faith in the good news which lies ahead for each of us.

We don’t want to be an “I-told-you-so”, but if you had privatized your account, your annual retirement amount would only have decreased slightly, by 34%, ratherthan the 50% you’re seeing now. Our leaders are wise, Rose, and when they speak — we all should listen.

See the reply to Jamel’s question above about faith-based assisted living centers for seniors. And god bless you, Rose.

(from today’s Quad City Times)