Transfer of Power
I will never, ever understand why people keep buying into the myth that George W. Bush has anything in common with average Americans :
Besides Bush’s swearing in on Thursday, the inaugural week festivities include a salute to America’s military and several lavish balls. Bush said he doesn’t think it’s excessive despite the war and last month’s devastating tsunami, although he told CBS, “I’ve never been much of a dancer, and the idea of going to 11 balls might be viewed as excessive.”Bush said it’s important to celebrate a “peaceful transfer of power” and that he suspects inauguration guests have been generous in donating to tsunami victims. “You can be equally concerned about our troops in Iraq and those who suffered at the tsunamis with celebrating democracy,” he said.
Transfer of power?? Unless he’s talking about the GOP’s hopping back and forth from the back pockets of big business to the back pockets of the religious right, the President doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
Why does “celebrating democracy” have to be so goddamned expensive? Is this really the image we want to send to the rest of the world? That we’re so proud of ourselves that we’ll spend millions of dollars just patting ourselves on the back? And don’t even get me started on the millions that the President is stealing from the District of Columbia’s homeland security funds in order to make sure he and his buddies can enjoy their parties in peace.
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The President doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about….
Should be the title of his unauthorized biography.
Of course with this President it might turn out to be an unauthorized autobiography.
Comment by kamachanda — January 18, 2005 @ 2:15 pm
I can’t understand why the mayor of DC doesn’t just tell Bush to go fuck himself. “Your party, pal, your pocket.”
Comment by Roddy McCorley — January 18, 2005 @ 4:00 pm
He Is Wise, He Is Good
(The following is parody — at least, we hope so.)
Everyone has by now read the excerpts from the WaPo’s interview with the Chimp. Wasn’t our Fuehrer boyish, determined? Very little carpet-chewing or flying spittle. I could feel myself virtually being proud to be an American.
However, other news organizations may have had similar opportunities to attempt contact with new species as they continue running our Great Land.
But in some even stranger alternate universe [not that things aren?t already pretty strange, right here], a Leader sits down for an interview with a local newsperson. Let’s listen in.
_____________________________________
[An Excerpt From WANK Channel 4 NEWS INTERVIEWS THE PESTIDENT]
WANK/Channel 4: …Can we move on to the animals?
THE PRESTIDENT: What? You mean, animals?
WANK/Channel 4: Yes. We have reports that Miss Beasley has been —
THE PRESTIDENT: In the questions, we don’t want to be getting big. Not while there are questions. No time in the questions to use that bigness, see.
WANK/Channel 4: Sir?
THE PRESTIDENT: Big. It was big on the aircraft carrier. YAAH-hoo!
MS. DEVILISH: [Nicolle Develish, the White House lobster communicator] All animals; he enjoys all animals. He has a ranch, you remember. All animals. Say all animals, sir.
THE PRESTIDENT: All animals, sir. Hee hee hee hee; that was good, huh?
WANK/Channel 4: Ah, sir — what I was getting to were reports that Miss Beastley, the new Scotch Terrist puppy, has been abused.
THE PRESTIDENT: Laurie did what now?
WANK/Channel 4: Do you believe animals are for our gratification, Mr. Prestident?
THE PRESTIDENT: You’re a, with who now?
WANK/Channel 4: I’m with W-A-N-K, Channel Four news, sir.
MS. DEVILISH: He’s with WANK, sir. WANK.
WANK/Channel 4: Sir, let me restate: Do you believe animals are for our physical gratification, Mr. Prestident?
THE PRESTIDENT: Do I, personally?
WANK/Channel 4: Right.
THE PRESTIDENT: When?
WANK/Channel 4: Right now, sir.
THE PRESTIDENT: Is there an animal here now? Is it a big animal?
WANK/Channel 4: There are no animals here, sir, no…
THE PRESTIDENT: Didn’t think so. Wasn’t big, see. Little George. I mean, I wasn’t — well, lookie here now —
WANK/Channel 4: Sir — oh, sit down, Mr. Pestilent… Please… You’re aware that we are on the record here?
THE PRESTIDENT: If Dick Chesney says it, I’m surprised. Maybe I did. It’s amazing what you forget. But little George didn’t get big. That’s how I know there’s no animal now. Not here now.
MS. DEVILISH: Sir; Mr. Pestildent — That was Democrat. Liberal Democrat. A liberal Democrat politician. Liberal. Democrat.
THE PRESTIDENT: Look, wankee; there’s all kinds of stuff in the bible about animals serving man and like that. They do. They’re here for us. But it’s the kind of thing a liberal Democrat, some far-left Democrat, liberal kinda thing, would take all out of proportion and make into something it’s not. It’s like what they’re doing to the country. No fun. Democrat. The liberals don?t want to have it good. Not bad — animals are good. So — what? I don’t get your question.
MR. McKLELLAN: [Scotty McKlellan, the White House?s Tim Conway] Sir, we have a briefing. Briefing, Sir. Briefing.
WANK/Channel 4: — Have you used animals for sexual gratification, sir?
MR. McKLELLAN, MS. DEVILISH: Sir– Sir!
THE PRESTIDENT: Shut your damn pieholes! You — you?re a devil skirt, like all wommens. I’m not listenin’ to you. And Scott-o, you?re a little baldo pudnocker. Always wanting to give me bad news. Evil tidings, baldy. I’m the leader! Good leader. Runs things. You shut up.
I have had communion with the animals, and I will continue to talk to them…and they understand. And I’ll continue —
WANK/Channel 4: Did you really —
THE PRESTIDENT: Now you shut up too, you, wanker guy. I was introduced to, uh, a police horse. Good time. Liked it. And in it, god got up somewhere in there and told me to smite the evildoers in Iran with my pants.
Hey, we had this big meeting — I think before Christmas, and we decided we’d give a big damn wedgie to those towelheads by April, didn’t we?
MS. DEVILISH: Mr Pestident, sir, there are security — national security —
THE PRESTIDENT: What are you talkin’ about? We’re goin’ in! Little George gets big just thinking about it. Is my dog here?
MR. McCLELLAN: Sir, the briefing.
THE PRESTIDENT: O-Kay. Gotta go.
WANK/Channel 4: Thank you, Mr. Pestesdint.
THE PRESTIDENT: I like animals. Let the people know that. Like ‘em. Can’t trust a Leader what doesn’t like animals. History’s full of that. Full of it.
Comment by Tom S — January 18, 2005 @ 11:16 pm
He’s one of those that confuses capitalism with democracy, and the world is his E-Bay
Comment by Kevin Hayden — January 19, 2005 @ 5:52 am
A bit further down in the ABC story is the praise Bush heaped on Powell while presenting him with the Legacy of a Dream award:
“More than four years ago when I needed a secretary of state, I knew what I was looking for,” the president said. “I wanted someone who believed deeply in the values of our country and could share them with the world, a person of wisdom and decency, a leader who could bring out the best in people. I found all this and more in Colin Powell.”
Count the references. First person singular, 5 times. Colin Powell, 1 time.
Comment by Phil — January 20, 2005 @ 9:01 am