Our Time Together Has Passed
Tell me if this ever happened to you when you were a kid : You get dragged along on a church retreat, family reunion, boy scout “jamboree”, or other such trip in which you’re stuck in a single location for a few days and you know that you’re gonna be miserable. Hoping to turn lemons into lemonade, you cling to the coolest person that you can find. Although this person still isn’t very interesting, he/she is a genuinely good person that you can’t help but like. By the end of the trip, the two of you have formed an unusual, but strong bond.
When you get home, however, you start to realize that your relationship with this person wouldn’t last long in the “real” world. “It’s nothing personal”, you tell yourself, “we’re just very different people.” At best, the relationship could end up one in which you have a strong bond over a specific common interest, but are uncomfortable discussing anything else. Unfortunately, the other person doesn’t feel the same way, which makes various attempts to stay in touch feel awkward. You wish you could just leave the relationship in the past rather than clumsily try to reignite the tiny spark that brought you together in the first place.
Well, that’s how I feel every time I get an email from John Kerry. Not that I’m knocking his recent “Kid’s First” petition (which you should all sign), it’s just that every time I see his name in my inbox, I keep expecting the message to be “Dude, remember that time I ran for President? That was awesome!” I certainly don’t want him to go away or anything (this is where my analogy falls apart), it’s just that his attempts to transform himself from establishment candidate to grassroots organizer feel forced.
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at least there was no awkward kiss and lifetime of uncomfortableness.
Comment by cali_ — January 26, 2005 @ 1:25 pm
that’s exactly how i feel when i get those letters from Kerry, too. and when i get calls from the DNC asking me for contributions. The last time they called i just told them that i’m no longer a Democrat and made a joke about wanting my money back. Hopefully they’ll stop calling now.
Comment by tom — January 26, 2005 @ 2:06 pm
I’m one of the chicken-wire-mesh hat crowd (it’s a lot more stylish than tinfoil) believing the 2004 election was, uh, rigged.
I thought Kerry should have put up more of a fight on that issue alone, if no other.
Instead, it’s as if he couldn’t wait to rush off the national stage. Couldn’t wait to concede. (John Edwards was stunned and surprised, and pissed off, by that. Still is.) Why? Why did he do that? I still haven’t heard an adequate answer.
Upon reflection, Kerry needed to be an absolute fire-eating Godzilla-like monster with The Chimp and Fat Karl’s people. He should have eviscerated the Republicans and dragged them (euphimistically speaking) by their entrails in front of the press; he should have won the debates by leaving Bush stunned and speechless at the podium (more than he was, that is).
But Kerry didn’t do that.
He is a principled man. He is a man of conviction, and of some vision. But we need a person of vision who won’t hesitate to let the protofascist hogs know they are coming — by delivering the heads of their border guards in a basket with a note: “We’re coming. You can surrender and we’ll allow you to commit suicide in your bunker, or you can try and resist — in which case we’ll turn you all over to the Hague.” And mean it.
Kerry’s a nice guy. And he finished last.
Comment by Tom S — January 26, 2005 @ 4:26 pm
That’s really interesting. I had no idea that the decison to fold wasn’t a mutually agreed upon decision, and if that’s the case, my respect for edwards just notched back up a bit. Could you put up some links to relevant sources? Thanks!
Comment by Ross A Lincoln — January 26, 2005 @ 5:32 pm
When You’re Full Of Shit, You Are In Fact Full Of Shit
A Cautionary Tale
Ross A Lincoln writes: “I had no idea that the decison to fold wasn’t a mutually agreed upon decision… Could you put up some links to relevant sources? Thanks!”
My primary thrust as a writer lies in satire and parody. So, let’s just look at my comment, and the uh, “facts” backing it up. (Ross will forgive me for putting words in his mouth. Or, maybe not, and I’ll just be damned to Hell. Oh, well.)
______________________________
LINCOLN: So, did you do any fact-checking related to your assertion that John Edwards was — well, let’s just read your words back, here: John Edwards was stunned and surprised, and pissed off, by [Kerry's concession]. Still is.
So — what did you find, Tom?
TOM S: Well, Ross, I spent approximately two hours going through the NYT online archives, Newsweek’s, and searches on Eschaton, Talking Points, and several other blogs which have a proven record of integrity. In other words, they tend not to splatter an unchecked fact willy-nilly into the blogosphere [This term Coined By Skippy The Bush Kangaroo, god bless 'em].
LINCOLN: And?
TOM S: And the only references I found were on some Googled links to what turned out to be right-wing public vomitoriums. And, naturlich, they had no links or attributions to support these assertions.
I wanted the entire first layer of my skin abraded after going through these sites, Ross. I wanted to pull my own face off with a fork. It was truly like having someone with a heavy boot, who had walked through some serious dog feces, stamping on your face over and over, forever.
Through all I could gather from the press — mainstream and alternative — your take was accurate. Edwards may not have liked the decision to concede so quickly, but no independent record exists that he has done anything publicly except support Kerry’s decision and its timing.
LINCOLN: All right, Tom. Now we come to central question: What made you say something that was so obviously untrue? Isn’t that trollish behavior, really?
TOM S: Hey — for one thing, as long as we’re in my imagination, please don’t take that tone with me, or I’ll turn you into Tim Russert, or Bill Krystol. I can do it, too — plus you’d have to put up with Russert’s flatulence or Krystol’s annoying little facial tic.
That aside — it’s an old but (in this case) accurate explanation: I was nearly blind, stinking drunk (such a thing does in fact exist) after the election, and my subsequent hangover was absolutely celestial in its grandeur and complexity.
Somewhere in the post-drunk fog, almost immediately after Kerry’s concession speech (which I couldn’t bear to watch), I received a call from my closest friend, who has old and close ties with a politico working around MoveOn.org.
Anyhow, I have a dim and uncorroborated memory of her passing along a conversation with her politico friend; that they had been told by unnamed Others that Edwards was surprised — not by Kerry’s concession, necessarily, but with it’s timing. That more of a fight, a public fight, would not be made in Ohio, and that Edwards was fairly unhappy about that decision.
So, to sum up, I was wrong, Ross. In future I’ll either stick to parody, or be more careful about the bases for any factual arguments. You were kind enough to take me to task, and I know you’ll be magnanamous, and not ask me to wax your car or anything. We’ll all just move forward. You know, a ‘lessons-learned’ sorta thing.
LINCOLN: [Pause] So you were really drunk? Did you do crazy stuff?
TOM S: Two words, Ross: Andrew Sullivan.
Comment by Tom S — January 26, 2005 @ 10:23 pm
That is how I feel about those Kerry emails, too. I just deleted the last one, unread.
“Dude, that is SO 2004.” I’ve moved on.
Comment by Bella — January 27, 2005 @ 6:55 am
Kerry who?
Comment by PSoTD — January 27, 2005 @ 8:26 am
Hey Tom S, don’t worry. I had three pints of Guero last week and woke up in bed with William Safire. I’m actually still showering as I write this. And thanks for the clarification.
Comment by Ross A Lincoln — January 27, 2005 @ 10:10 am
Tom, nest time the DNC calls you should say “You guys are no longer liberals, I want my money back.” The DNC is a total failure, and the best thing that could happen to it is a public execution, and its replacement by new organisations like MoveOn. The amount of money they wasted up here in Oregon was criminal, and the simpering scum that worked for them deserve to have their college loans called in early.
Comment by Joe — January 27, 2005 @ 12:45 pm
Our Time Together Has Passed
When I started to read this post on The Talent Show, it wasn’t obvious to me where it was going, but damn if it didn’t make absolutely perfect sense when I got to the end. I’ve been asking myself …
Trackback by Martini Republic — January 27, 2005 @ 12:53 pm
I unsubscribed wid a quickness.
Comment by praktike — January 27, 2005 @ 2:11 pm
I’ve been pondering how long until I just hit the spam button on JFK.
Comment by Alex — January 27, 2005 @ 2:29 pm
Ross: Yow. Now that Safire’s going to have more free time, he might start hanging out with you a lot more often.
My brain loses about 38% of normal cognitive function when I consider the horror of it.
Joe: Time for a radical change from within for the Donkey– same exterior (Hi; we’re Democrats), different Interior entirely (We’re going to impeach and imprison you and eat your young).
Comment by Tom S — January 27, 2005 @ 3:24 pm
I also asked the DNC for a refund. And I also delete Kerry’s emails unread. It seems he didn’t even try very hard to win.
Comment by merl — January 27, 2005 @ 8:47 pm
Mugwump Mouthpiece
Trackback by 100 monkeys typing. — January 28, 2005 @ 11:25 am
if i am the last man shouting it, I will still say it again: we either tack to the
left to highlight the differences between those devoid of respect for individual
life and freedoms, or we join the fascists now running things. there are no other
choices.
or perhaps you are on the kerry 2008 bandwagon already?
evil, criminal cowardice and self aggrandizement, should be called what it is.
if you think that makes me stupid then I think you neeed to grow a real conscience
and some balls.
lieberman should resign in digrace along with the other career politicians who thought
more about their careers than about the idea that little kids shouldn’t have bombs
falling on them for no good reason. kennedy can now get up in the senate now about
bringing the troops home. where was that sentiment when it could have made a difference
before the war? what was it that kucinich could see that these other bastards couldn’t?
I can’t wait to contribute to lieberman’s primary opponent. after he is out of
the senate, droopy dawg can try making a comeback as W’s court jester since that is
about as serious as he’ll ever be taken by those he now so willingly works with
in the spirit of bi partisanship. what good is he doing anyone? let me ask you,
did he vote in favor of Gonzales, of Rice? what good is doing in the senate?
The confusion in political thought that has been fostered by the banality of rampant
nationalism and jingoism won’t last forever. The
country won’t grow backwards; it will evolve or die.
Comment by chris from boca — January 28, 2005 @ 12:31 pm