“Prime Time.”

A reminder, good ‘Murkins, that the State of the Retarded Fake President Elected by Very Easily Led People and Also Fundamentalist Lunatics Address is tonight.

Normally I’d suggest you take a drink every time he says the word “freedom,” but I’d rather not make myself liable when everyone who follows that advice drops dead of alcohol poisoning by 8:03 CST. Ditto the words ‘Murka, ‘Murkins, and especially Karl Rove’s Dub’s new favorite phrase, “Ownership Society,” which is a really progressive idea as long as you can afford to own your own chunk of society, which, statistically speaking, you probably can’t.

Frankly, if you’re like me, you won’t be anywhere near a TV set. I get more than enough lies from that moron in the course of listening to the news every day. I don’t plan on subjecting myself to that horse shit when I can avoid it; more productive uses of my time might include vacuuming the floors, huffing scotchguard, teaching the cats to play basketball, or drinking mouthwash straight from the bottle. Any of these activities, it’s worth noting, will provide you with as many undistorted facts about the Social Security “crisis” as will Whistle Ass’s speech.

Finally, as for non-fake-Social-Security-crisis-related predictions, I can only surmise that if George sees his shadow tonight, he’ll be making plans to declare war on the Sun by the end of the week. Enjoy.

4 thoughts on ““Prime Time.”

  1. But how do you really feel about the President?

    Oh, and I find that cats normally enjoy more intellectual endeavors. I’ll be reading Jane Eyre to mine. It’s a form of fiction I can tolerate as opposed to sound that comes from W’s mouth when Carl Rove has his hand up the President’s ass.

  2. You remind me of Ross today, albeit with less expletives. Hopefully marriage will mellow you.

  3. Actually, this is one of the rare posts by Brian. I’ve gotta admit that the prospect of sitting through another Bush SOTU address brings out my inner “cranky old man”.

  4. Yeah, some troll left some dumbass Bush comment on my blog, and it got my milk all churned. He may have been kidding, now that I think about it. Still. And sadly, this post comes after being mellowed by marriage for three and a half years. Maybe fatherhood will do the trick. But I’m not holding my breath.