Good Ole Boys
Here’s an incredibly disturbing episode from Jerry Falwell’s autobiography (via Bob) :
There were times that Dad?s pranks bordered on cruelty. One of his oil-company workers, a one-legged man he nicknamed ?Crip? Smith, complained about everything. Dad and Crip?s co-workers got tired of the old man?s bellyaching and decided to take revenge. One morning Crip called in sick and Dad volunteered to send by lunch to his grateful but suspicious employee. Dad and his chums caught Crip?s old black tomcat, killed it, skinned it, and cooked it in the kitchen of one of Dad?s little restaurants. They called it squirrel meat and delivered it to Crip on a linen-covered tray. When Crip returned to work the next morning, Dad and his co-conspirators asked him how he liked his meal. They knew he would complain even about a free home-cooked lunch, and when Crip called it ?the toughest squirrel meat? he had ever eaten, they were glad to tell him why.
Before you get too shocked, keep in mind that this is from the same guy who lost his virginity to his mother in an outhouse.
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That sounds curiously like something out of Greek mythology — although those stories generally involved killing & serving someone’s children. The Greek gods meted out the worst punishments in their afterlife to those people.
Oh, and that doesn’t border on cruelty. It’s waaay inside the city limits.
Comment by Roddy McCorley — March 1, 2005 @ 10:46 am
Seriously, he was a one legged man they called Crip? Crip!?!?!?!? Just how in the fuck did they think he’d react to being one legged and enduring a nickname like crip?
That story sounds suspiciously like 5th grade. 50 bucks says he didn’t complain at all, he just got pissed off at being called crip, and like all bullies, those fuckers couldn’t stand the pain of being asked to quit it.
Comment by Ross A Lincoln — March 1, 2005 @ 10:56 am
That is evil in so many ways — yikes.
Comment by Bella — March 1, 2005 @ 2:19 pm
At Home With Jerry
Via the Talent Show, we learn that Jerry Falwell’s boyhood was…well, less than idyllic. The story itself is weird, but the way Falwell tells it is really weird. “We sure put a stop to that guy’s annoying complaints by killing…
Trackback by Politics and War — March 2, 2005 @ 7:39 am