In the last week or two, there have been big developments in the cases of Martha Stewart, Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, Michael Jackson, and Terri Schiavo. To put this in monster movie terms, this is CNN’s equivalent of those horror movies in which Frankenstein, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and Dracula all team up. Even hacks like Larry King are probably having a hard time keeping up with the parade of crap.

Maybe people interested in getting some real news on television could take advantage of this situation. Perhaps we could offer Michael Jackson a few dollars to read a list of corruption charges against Tom DeLay, propose a universal healthcare law and name it “Lacy and Connor’s Law”, or just fill Terri Schaivo’s feeding tube with the shitty food from a school lunchroom.