Well, I finally saw The Corporation and though I really wanted to like it, I thought it was a complete mess. The filmmakers obviously bit off a lot more than they could chew with this topic and the end result is a cinematic Frankenstein’s monster with pieces of ten different documentaries all stitched together into an awkward beast that doesn’t really know which way it’s going. I agree with the film’s central thesis^{[1] I honestly think that the influence corporations have over our political process and society in general will pretty much destroy our country within 25 years if things keep going the way they are now.}, but there were some parts of the film that really bugged me. For example :

The “corporations share the same qualities as psychopaths” thing was one of the most puerile and pointless attacks I’ve ever seen. I get the conceit behind it, that if corporations are seen as people, then this is the kind of people they’d be, but it’s just stupid. I think we can all agree that corporations aren’t people, so why waste time on such a retarded jab? Writers and filmmakers remotely psychoanalyzing their subjects is a big pet peeve of mine, so this just about ruined the movie for me.

At one point in the movie, they talk about our out of control copyright laws by mentioning that “Happy Birthday” is owned by a corporation, which is shocking to..well..nobody at this point. More importantly, it’s a trivial complaint when the rest of the film talks about the threat the unregulated corporations pose to our safety and our society at large. Corporations dumping poisons into our environment are a big deal. Having to pay $10K to use a song in your movie isn’t.

The ending of the movie is a big love-letter to protesters. Maybe I’m still jaded from the Iraq war^{[2] We had the largest protests in human history and didn’t even slow down the rush to war. Do you honestly think a CEO would be more open to dissenting opinions than our “CEO President”?}, but I don’t think political theater and some limited boycotts are gonna to do jack shit in the long run. Corporate influence is so pervasive, a few battles seem pointless in the overall war. For example, during the supermarket strike, we all avoided shopping at Ralph’s and Von’s, but in doing so weren’t we just showing our support for the labor movement by going to stores where the workers aren’t lucky enough to be unionized? Not that I regret participating in the boycott, but it’s just that the problems we face are so big that we’re often forced to make a tough choice between a bunch of shitty options. If you protest the Gap, people will just go to Old Navy and if you protest Wal-Mart they’ll go to K-Mart.

The film had a tendency to go off on tangents that were attacks on consumerism and capitalism in general. That’s all right…I guess…but would probably fit better somewhere else. Once again, I know all of these issues are closely related, but this wasn’t fully explored and distracted a bit from the more interesting parts of the documentary. Besides, as someone who’s mostly on board with the filmmakers, I get really turned off when the discussion turns into a broader attack on our entire economic system. Sorry guys, but modestly-regulated capitalism is a good thing.

During the section of the film in which they discuss the methods advertisers use to market their products to children, I couldn’t help but think of some of the more obviously-manipulative aspects of the film itself. The use of frenetic editing, bright palettes, and up-tempo music is used by advertisers to get children to nag their parents, and the film makes sure you realize how horrible this is through its use of a dirge-like score, somber narration, and carefully editing footage of commercials with the interviews of experts. I agree 110% with the idea that aiming advertising at people too young to make informed decisions is horrible, but manipulation works both ways.

The best part of the film by a mile were the interviews^{[3] Which makes me disappointed that I had to return the DVD to the video store before watching all the extras.} with Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky, and a few CEO’s. Along with the mountain of examples of corporate wrongdoing, these made the film worth recommending, even if I do think the individual parts are much better than the film that contains them^{[4] For the record, I feel the same way about Robert Greenwald’s documentaries. His source material and topics are fantastic, but the way he assembles those parts leaves a lot to be desired.}.

In the end though, I think the film’s biggest flaw was that it didn’t devote half of its running time to the political climate that allows this bullshit to happen. Where was the montage of clips of politicians selling the idea of “deregulation”? Or discussion of the endless number of bailouts, tax cuts, and other rewards that are heaped upon campaign contributors? Or the neverending stream of industry-specific legislation that comes out of Congress? Why not devote a few minutes to destroying the lie that environmental regulations, progressive taxation, a living wage, and protecting the safety of consumers and workers is somehow “anti-business”^{[5] Or that “anti-business” is that big a deal when the alternative is “anti-American”.}.

The fact is that every horrible thing that was described in that film happened because it was allowed to happen. One of the interview subjects in the film rightly pointed out that the conduct in question is undoubtably criminal, yet where are the criminal charges? If a private citizen is willfully negligent and it causes harm to another person, they don’t get fined. They get their ass thrown in jail. If a corporation acts in a similar manner, don’t protest outside an office building. Protest outside the attorney general’s office and demand that manslaughter charges be filed. And if the conduct in question isn’t illegal, then protest^{[6] And for God’s sake, if you’re gonna protest, keep it on topic. There’s nothing more obnoxious than seeing anti-capitalism propaganda at an anti-war protest.} your city council, state legislature, or whatever and demand to know why your representatives aren’t doing something about it.

If a corporation is going to be considered a person, the important thing isn’t figuring out what kind of person the corporation would be^{[7] And it should probably be pointed out that, despite the film’s overheated rhetoric, mental illness isn’t illegal.}, but pointing out that you shouldn’t be allowed all the rights that come with citizenship without living up to the responsibilities as well. Here in California, we’ve got a (horrible, unconstitutional, unconscionable…) three-strikes law for recidivist felons, but where’s the legislation to curb corporate recidivism? The way things work today, there’s a financial incentive for corporations to break the law. As long as a bunch of immoral executive assholes are able to weigh a cost benefit analysis between following the laws of the land or causing irreparable harm to the public, they will always choose the side that increases profits.

If you want to stop corporate crime, we make sure the perpetrators are treated like criminals. Not only does that mean throwing the guilty parties in jail, but it also means having the fines mean something. Fines aren’t a punishment to corporations anymore, they’re a line item. For serious crimes, the fines should be severe enough to seriously impact the stability of the company in question. If the company goes bankrupt^{[8] Of course that opens the door to a discussion of our awful bankruptcy system, but that’s a post for another day.} then that’s the board of director’s problem, not ours. If you don’t want to lose your business, don’t break the law.^{[9] It’s time our conservative brethren learned that “tough on crime” doesn’t only apply to young, black males.}

And that’s just the stuff that’s illegal.

What’s even worse is that most of the evil acts depicted in the movie were probably legal and the natural result of a political system gives their corporate patrons the benefit of the doubt. If I told you that we should legalize murder, your first response would probably be something like “Are you crazy? The murder rate would go through the roof!”, yet that’s exactly what’s happened with the crazy deregulation schemes of the Republican party. For decades now the GOP has pushed for legislation that “lifted” price caps, “relaxed” emission requirements, and “eased” ownership rules while feigning shock that people would assume this would mean higher prices, more pollution, and industry monopolies. The rhetoric of deregulation has been proven wrong over and over again, yet these assholes still keep getting elected and people keep getting hurt as a result of their pro-industry crusades.

Which takes me back to The Corporation. It was a sobering and effective documentary overall, but I think it was a lot more effective at diagnosing the problem than prescribing the cure. Though the film likes to pretend that there’s a major parallel between an anti-government revolt over water privatization and the unfocused protests that follow the WTO, the idea that you can protest your way out of a problem this big is shortsighted and naive.