However, we have often been out together and its impossible not to notice people hitting on my partner, or in some sick twisted individuals cases, on me, because of those “first impressions”. I must admit it drives me mad when I find out that some complete stranger has been copping a feel in a crowded public place, when my partner thought it was me.

The entire attitude of most people nowdays is disgraceful. I relate to the concept of people having varying levels of respect for themselves and choosing their own path. Furthermore, I find the whole notion at the core of this article, about people that attempt to force their own level of respect beyond themselves onto others, an ever increasing and disturbing fact of everyday life. Ok someone eyes me up, its truely flattering… to an extent, but when it goes into my personal space or the personal space of my partner, its just offensive and something noone should have to suffer.

It is true that the problem is not that of sexual nature, but of control. Nothing sexual happened to me when, in a crowded public place, some perverted little social tard groped my partner, but the lack of control to be able to do anything about it affected me in a large way. More so than it affected my partner, everytime we go out now I feel I have to be on a constant vigil to stop the next little shit taking advantage of these unavoidable situations.

Unfortunately, it seems theres not much we can do about this though and short of everyone dressing in baggy jump suits with our faces covered, the temptation to those of weaker will and perveted minds, will continue to get the better of them. No… not even the fatastically baggy jump suits will be enough to stop them. Plus everyone would certainly look funny to any aliens that might bother to watch the incresingly pathetic inhabitants of our planet.

Anyways, I dont really know why Im writing all this… I dont ever post comments to blogs (until now), let alone read them on a regular basis. Its just been one hell of a long boring day for me.

Lets just hope that the truely annoying craps that deliberately infringe on others, do it to the wrong people and end up getting what they deserve. I definitely know the next person or persons caught affecting me or my partner in such a way, will be suffering all our pent up wrath from the torment weve endured over the years we’ve been together. I almost feel sorry for them… no wait… I don’t.

You have all the right clues my friend. The number of times I’ve had a quasi-Resident Evil episode at a simple college dinner (i.e.: where I got to get my food every day) is enough to have me wishing I was allowed to pack a shotgun (or in lieu of that, a shovel) in my rucksack. And use it. Bloody zombies men. : )

Thanks for having a clue. Keep up the good work.

sna

No, absolutely not. (Some “benefit of the doubt.”) I’m saying that women shouldn’t be obligated to provide a reason for turning down men they aren’t attracted to beyond “I’m not attracted to him,” and they’re allowed to turn *anyone* down. Even Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. (Or, for that matter, Kobe Bryant.)

A distant second (and one that may not be able to be remedied until we get rid of this sense of men’s entitlement to women’s sexuality and the consequent necessity of providing a reason for a woman not being receptive to advances) are a lot of the phobias that get reinforced by these sorts of statements – not through people’s individual choices, but in the appeals to a perceived social consensus that makes it acceptable to say “he was old” or “she was fat” and assume those are universal markers of undesirability.

But to see that indicates you missed a large chunk of what Ross wrote. Basically – play the “is she interested in me game” for a while before approaching.

Obviously. (Well, sadly it’s not obvious to everyone, or the uncomfortable situations wouldn’t happen.) And if someone’s approach is inappropriate, they should be called on it (or at least they shouldn’t be entitled to continue making another feel uncomfortable). But I do think that the inappropriateness of the approach is based on causing that discomfort, and not on merely being unattractive.

Kidding, kidding!

Its not really so difficult to understand, I mean, we sent man to the moon…

Its not really so difficult to understand, I mean, we sent man to the moon…

No. That doesn’t really happen.

It’s not the same, because the guy knows he can always walk away and be all right. Women know that sometimes, they won’t be allowed to walk away.

Man, I really don’t get the guys who, anytime they even hear the word “sexism,” start yelling, “Me too! Me too! Women are mean to men too!” Can’t things be NOT about you just once in a while?

Being raped is like having something stolen from you. Your feeling of safety, your body, your right to choose how to live and where to go and what to wear, your right to enjoy sex. A certain amount of objectification is ‘normal’ for both men and women, but when that objectification is combined with anger and entitlement the thing that gets stolen is a woman’s core and sadly, her social standing.

If a man smashes the window of a car, rips out the stereo, hotwires it and goes for a joy ride before abandoning it, no one asks why the car didn’t have seat covers (even though not wearing panties means a woman was “asking for it.” How would a man know?)