I’ve already written about my distaste for Stephanie Zacharek’s movie reviews, but the one she wrote for “Cinderella Man” is especially awful. I should probably start by saying that I loved the movie and that I never thought I’d say that about a Ron Howard film. I’ll admit that I have a soft spot for depression-era stories about boxing, so I can see how some people might have found the movie to be manipulative and/or hackneyed. But the problem with Zacharek’s review isn’t just that it’s a negative revie. It’s a bad one.

Here’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about (SPOILER ALERT) :

He even mucks up the dramatic opportunities that are practically dropped into his lap. In the movie, Braddock sustains numerous injuries to his right hand during the low point of his career, which meant that when he came back, his left hand was even stronger. Howard could have shown us the moment Braddock realized that his left was now stronger than his right: I can almost picture Russell Crowe’s face registering this revelation, and it’s tantalizing. Instead, Howard drops this tidbit as a line of dialogue — after the fact — a classic case of telling and not showing, which seems to be Howard’s stock in trade.

The fight in question is one of the most dramatic in the film because it comes at Braddock’s low point and the expectation is that he’s going to lose. If it were done Zacharek’s way, however, the fight would have been completely free of tension since the audience would already know that Braddock’s left was stronger. For someone who criticizes Ron Howard on his lack of subtlety, she sure is eager for him to plainly explain every detail of the film before it has a chance to create an impact.

What’s even more hilarious is this line :

Then again, few actors could survive the Ron Howard cliché pileup. Actually, the problem isn’t that Howard deals in clichés and conventions in the first place. Conventions by themselves are fine, if they’re used well. In fact, they can cut straight to our most unguarded emotions, which is what makes them eminently useful in the language of movies, maybe boxing movies particularly — it’s such a visceral and intimate sport. But while lots of people will see “Cinderella Man,” it frustrates me that relatively few people have the chance to see a picture like “Beautiful Boxer,” ….

Haven’t seen Beautiful Boxer, so I can’t comment on that, but check out how Zacharek ends a review in which she lambastes Ron Howard’s use of cliches :

But what about the time Howard has stolen from us, movie after movie, year after year? Those are lost hours we’ll never get back. It’s time for him to make amends for robbing us of our time and exploiting our emotions with his bloated extravaganzas.

Yes, she sunk to the hackneyed “stop stealing my time” line, which as far as I’m concerned is just as tiresome as the depression-era conventions that she derides while lacking both the emotional punch and an ounce of wit.