As The Talent Show approaches its fourth year, I was thinking of doing one of those year end posts to highlight some of my favorite posts over the last year. Unfortunately, I don’t have the patience to wade through 700 or so posts, so this isn’t going to be a very thorough review. Nonetheless, here’s a few bits from the archives for the first half of the year that re-caught my attention.

From January, this quote from an article about the President’s inauguration might be the funniest and most dead-on comment on right-wing activism I’ve read anywhere :

Anti-abortion protesters have been warned to leave large crosses at home.

It’s not enough for some people to twist the words of Jesus, they have to be Jesus. Except without all that living a virtuous life or sacrificing yourself for a greater good stuff.

Back in February, conservative group Citizens United wasted a few thousand dollars on a big “fuck you” to the blue states with a few “Thank you, Hollywood” billboards celebrating the reelection of George W. Bush. My suggestion at the time was for Hollywood to respond with their own billboards :

You’ve done a “Heck of a job, Bushie”.

In March, I blogged about the Terri Schiavo fiasco a lot. While this post is still my favorite from that time, my living will is the one I want to make sure my family members who frequent this site read again :

By the way, if any of this shit ever happens to me, please pull the plug. Once my body’s cold, let the organ harvesters, medical students, etc. take whatever they want. Cremate anything that’s left over, toss it in the ocean, and go buy yourselves a drink with whatever you found in my wallet. But…..

If I get into the situation as the result of medical malpractice, corporate negligence, or some other dastardly (and preventable) means, keep me alive long enough to turn my situation into a media circus. Since it seems to be the only way cases like this get any attention, make sure to send every videotape or photograph that you may have of me to every news outlet you can find. Use the resulting orgy of coverage to get some attention to the horrible nexus of insurance interests, pharmaceutical companies, and bribed political interests that ensures that millions of Americans (unlike their peers in Japan, Canada, Britain, etc.) without healthcare of any sort. If you find it necessary to split into two opposing camps to pontificate endlessly about “What Greg would have wanted”, please try to keep religion out of it, okay?

In April, I hoped the phrase “No Taxation Without Perspiration” would catch on to describe GOP “tax relief” :

In four words, that’s the Bush Administration’s tax agenda. How else can you explain the urgency behind cutting taxes on capital gains (”earned” through a combination of informed choices and dumb luck), dividends (basically a semi-annual gift to stockholders), and estates (or as many on the left are now calling “Paris Hilton taxes”1)? Meanwhile, the two most regressive forms of taxation (payroll and income taxes) which are the ones you pay for all those hours you spend at your shitty job have barely changed for those who really need tax cuts. They may pretend to care about working people, but the actions of the Republican party show that they’re more interested in helping multi-millionaires than people living below the poverty level.

Also in April, I wrote the post that gives me the strange honor of being the number one Google search result for the term “Jesus Math”, noted the strange cult of people worshiping a giant vagina, and finally figured out why bloggers are obsessed with posting pictures of their pets :

In May, I began my residency over at This Modern World in what is described as a “sucessful experiment”. Though it’s been mostly cross-posting, I’ve found the whole thing incredibly rewarding since I get to reach a different audience and have my writing appear alongside the work of someone who’s really inspired me over the last ten years. Seriously, if you guys aren’t going there daily, you’re missing out.

In June, I quit being a blogger which resulted in mentions on CNN & MSNBC, a gagillion hits, a short-lived blogger meme, and not a single change in the style, content, or design of the site. I miss being a blogger, but sometimes you have to make meaningless semantic changes for the greater good.