Separated By A Common Language
There was a time when the only way you could communicate a pithy and uninteresting message to people on the road was to hope that someone had already printed it on a bumper sticker. With the advent of computers and the ability to print/cut images on sticky vinyl (see “peeing, Calvin”), every inside joke is just a trip to the mall away from being broadcast to every stranger unlucky enough to be stuck behind you in traffic. A few minutes ago, I was stuck behind one of these idiots with too much disposable income and too little to say.
On the back of this guy’s Ford Explorer in extra-large letters were the words “Pimp Juice”. Yes, this genius’ message to the world are the words “Pimp juice”. Though it may seem crude to some of you, I view it as a subtler version of the message that I put on my own car : “Hooray For Semen”. If there’s anything questionable about the Pimp’s sticker, it was his choice of font. While it was clear that he was going after a gothic-inspired typeface (almost as if Edgar Allan Poe were writing about bodily fluids), there were enough serifs and flourishes to push Mr. Juice’s font firmly into gaywad territory.
Going back to the subtlety, however, I’m reminded of the other favorite thing I’ve written on the back of a car. Also written on the back of an SUV, I saw one of those “In Memory Of…” stickers that pay tribute to a recently departed loved one with a message that says “I miss you enough to make my car ugly for the next year or so”. Seeing the mini-obit flanked with pink ribbons on the tailgate, it seems that the woman in question seemed to die young of breast cancer. Before the full weight of this tragedy could set in, however, I finally noticed the rest of the statement that was in letters large enough to fill the entire back window : “FUCK CANCER”.
That’ll show ‘em.
UPDATE : Looks like I should have Googled the term “Pimp Juice” before writing this entry. In the words of future poet laureate Nelly :
Now your pimp juice is anything, attract the opposite sex
It could be money, fame, or straight intellect
It don’t MATTER! Bitches got the pimp juice too
Come to think about it dirty, they got more than we do
They got mo’…juice in they talk, got mo’ juice in they walk
They got mo’…juice in they pants, OOH GODDAMN!
As long as the “bitches” have it too, I suppose things are okay. “Pimp Juice” also happens to be the name of a beverage [ed. note : Ewww...] for hip-hop fans who want to drink Nelly’s…pimp juice.
Okay, I need to take a shower now.
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There’s a larger story here about the self-denigrating elements of hip-hop culture, as created by Whites and imposed on Blacks with their oblivious approval. You missed that story, Greg. As a result, this entry comes off yet another rant by a clueless White guy upset at Black culture. In fact, this post couldn’t have gotten more white if you used a white font on the white background.
You can do better than this.
Comment by Mark Spittle — January 2, 2006 @ 1:00 am
Um, who died and made you Dean of Students, Mr. Spittle? Does Greg have detention now too?
Comment by briantologist — January 2, 2006 @ 6:44 am
Self-denigrating elements of hip-hop created by white people and imposed on black people? I didn’t write that post because I’d never heard it put that way before. Where can I read more about that?
Comment by greg — January 2, 2006 @ 12:29 pm
best bumper stickers of ’05:
“honk if you think i’m jesus”
and
“republicans, making enemies faster than we can kill ‘em”!
Comment by sharlene c — January 2, 2006 @ 1:19 pm
Sure, but we can dispense with Bill Cosby’s frequent rants on the subject and go to better sources:
One
Two
Three
Some other facts to compare with :
Not a single major record company is owned by an African American.
The overwhelming majority of record label stock holders are white.
The overwhelming number of radio station owners are white.
MTV and BET- the predominant media outlets for Black culture – are owned by Viacom. Until yesterday – literally – Viacom did not have a single Black person on its Board. (Charles Phillips took a seat on January 1.)
Finally, let me add this. A literal interpretation of a pop culture phrase like “Pimp Juice” is silly.
In the seventies people put “BOSS” on their cars. During the heavy metal days, cars said HELL BENT FOR LEATHER or BALLS TO THE WALL. Any attempt to do a literal dissection of those phrases would result in a similar bout head-scratching.
If your other reader is right, and you are doing comedy schtick, well then I apologize for not getting it. I don’t see this blog as a satire site, and I would hope I (of all people) would recognize one when I came across it. Maybe you should do what I do, and throw in a poop joke.
Comment by Mark Spittle — January 2, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
I recieved a drink for New Year. It came in a bottle. It’s name? Sum Poosie. On the back, a full-color picture of a stripper named Kara.
Comment by Joe — January 2, 2006 @ 10:48 pm
In this country the brains between their legs crowd is allowed to drive, and vote. They’re probably the majority.
Comment by Kamachanda — January 3, 2006 @ 2:48 am
Mark, we can all agree that radio is completely owned by the man, and is total hooey pablum nowadays, whether hip-hop, country, or the worst dreck of all, modern rock music.
However, I was unaware that there was top-down micromanagement of hip-hop content imposed upon black producers and performers, and through their sheer “obliviousness” not recognized until it reached the ears of a target audience too foolish to discern the difference between a song they like, and an imposed sham culture. Are you saying that somewhere Viacom has a plan laid out to wreck black culture, and that modern hip-hop artists are their unwitting pawns? And if so, what does that paranoia have to do with some SUV’s “pimp juice” sticker?
I think any goofball intent on putting a sticker on his car (or a tattoo on his body) should be called out for his ridiculousness. It wouldn’t make Greg an oblivious white guy to do this. And yeah, in the 80′s Greg probably would be doing a post about the homo-obliviousness of “hell bent for leather.”
Comment by dAnimal — January 3, 2006 @ 10:42 am
oops, didn’t mean to imply that ALL stickers or tattoos were deserving of rididule. I just meant the lame ones.
Comment by dj gremmy — January 3, 2006 @ 10:43 am
… and now I misspelled “ridicule.” I think I’m still recovering from New Year’s Eve.
Comment by dAnimal — January 3, 2006 @ 1:46 pm
dAnimal, it’s a far more complicated issue than can be spelled out in any detail here, but the links I provided paint a pretty good picture. It’s not as if there is a planned, documented conspiracy to promote only the negative aspects of Black culture by white owned corporations, but rather this is a natural extension of racism by those in power. Yes, there is a financial and cultural benefit to ensure racism exists in this country, and that plays into it. There are some who ACTIVELY plan these things, but mostly there is a subconscious effort by whites to promote Blacks only in the negative sense.
Take for example the fact that hip-hop clothing — baggy pants that show off underwear — is an extension of the baggy prison clothes originally intended to keep prisoners from running off. Prisons — which no one will accuse of being Black-run — implemented these kinds of outfits for practical purposes, but then ALLOW cultural adoption and enhancement of them. The prisons could very well say “you can’t tattoo yourself, you can’t wear your colors, you can’t cornrow your hair, and you can’t change our uniform into something that gives you a negative cultural identity.” This is the way prisons were run in the past. You wore the uniform, but could not customize it. The aim was to promote social obedience and order(we can argue that one separately.)
But the prisons DON’T limit those things, because the intents of today’s prison are vengeance and free labor, not rehabilitation. If Blacks adopt prison culture on the outside, all the better: it pre-disposes them to crime and readies them for prison long before they ever commit a crime. So the extension of prison culture through prison dress, they walk like they are in ankle chains, they tattoo and brand themselves, etc.
In short though, there ARE ample Black music and cultural components that do not rely on concepts like gangsters, pimps, hoes, gangbanging and Pimp Juice, but these are not entered into the mainstream, and in many cases directly prevented from mainstream dissemination.
As for the Black producers who continue the downward spiral, they are willing participants who simply don’t care about the origins of the negative impact on current Black culture, either because they are personally benefitting from it, or they are too dumb to know better. The same social suicide occurs when redneck whites vote for gun rights over labor rights. History is filled with people who actively do things against the better interests of themselves or their own people.
Comment by Mark Spittle — January 3, 2006 @ 5:02 pm