The Dumbest Guys In The Room

In 1919, Charles Ponzi had a brilliant idea. He figured out that he could theoretically make a 400% profit through trading postal reply coupons (essentially a gift certificate for postage that immigrants would include in their letters back home). To run this operation, he set up the ironically-named Securities Exchange Company and wooed investors with the promise of doubling their money in 90 days. At first, things worked great and he was able to deliver the profits to his modest number of investors, but as the news of Ponzi’s sure thing spread, pretty soon everyone wanted a piece of the action. Before long, he went from making $5000 to raking in a quarter million dollars per day. Needless to say, with everyone’s hands in the cookie jar, nobody took a step back to ask the basic question “who’s buying all of these coupons?” When financial analyst Charles Barron looked into the company, he made two startling revelations : Ponzi wasn’t even investing in his own company and the SEC’s investments would require 16,000,000 coupons, but the postal service had only printed about 27,000. Investors lost everything and the “Ponzi scheme” was born.

The snowballing effect is explained at the Wikipedia thusly :

There was something clueless in Ponzi’s cleverness. He had set a scheme in motion that was sure to collapse sooner or later. He was pulling in a pile of cash, but only at the expense of going into even greater debt. At some point, the sensible thing to do would be to take the money and run to someplace where the law couldn’t get at him.

Instead, he stayed with it. The only reason that makes any sense is that he thought he could use the fortune he was accumulating to come up with a new scheme that would save him. He could figure out some way of diverting the fortune and the debt into a legitimate line of business, or maybe he could just hire lawyers and judges and buy his way out of trouble.

I just gone done watching a screener for the extraordinary documentary Enron : The Smartest Guys In The Room and the parallels to Ponzi’s scheme are stunning. From Roger Ebert‘s review of the film :

To keep its stock price climbing, Enron created good quarterly returns out of thin air. One accounting tactic was called “mark to market,” which meant if Enron began a venture that might make $50 million 10 years from now, it could claim the $50 million as current income. In an astonishing in-house video made for employees, Skilling stars in a skit that satirizes “HFV” accounting, which he explains stands for “Hypothetical Future Value.” Little did employees suspect that was more or less what the company was counting on.
. . .
One Enron tactic was to create phony offshore corporate shells and move their losses to those companies, which were off the books. We’re shown a schematic diagram tracing the movement of debt to such Enron entities. Two of the companies are named “M. Smart” and “M. Yass.” These “companies” were named with a reckless hubris: One stood for “Maxwell Smart” and the other one … well, take out the period and put a space between “y” and “a.”

What did Enron buy and sell, actually? Electricity? Natural gas? It was hard to say. The corporation basically created a market in energy, gambled in it and manipulated it. It moved on into other futures markets, even seriously considering “trading weather.” At one point, we learn, its gambling traders lost the entire company in bad trades, and covered their losses by hiding the news and producing phony profit reports that drove the share price even higher. In hindsight, Enron was a corporation devoted to maintaining a high share price at any cost. That was its real product.

And like Ponzi, once executives like Lay and Skilling saw the writing on the wall and realized how bogus their business model was, they got the hell out of there and left their investors to fend for themselves. Then again, Ponzi didn’t also cause a power crisis and steal billions of taxpayer dollars.

After suffering through countless documentaries by Michael Moore-clones who have a lot to say, but can’t be bothered to make a good movie, The Smartest Guys in the Room was like a breath of fresh air. For one, the filmmakers took a wonky accounting scandal and used it to tell the story of a bunch of arrogant bastards whose dedication to economic Darwinism caused their eventual downfall. It would have been easy to tell a dry, by-the-numbers tale of Enron’s fall by drowning the viewer economic rhetoric, which leads me to my second reason to recommend the film. It’s a good looking and well made documentary. While most documentaries these days are shot on video and look like they were edited with a pair of scissors and a roll of scotch tape, the filmmakers here didn’t let their dedication to the material serve as blinders to their ultimate goal of entertaining and informing the audience. They tell the story of the rise and fall of Enron without falling into the trap of featuring nothing but talking heads and close-ups of faxes. And while Roger Ebert is right when he opened his review saying “This is not a political documentary. It is a crime story.”, rest assured that the Bushes and Arnold Schwarzenegger get their due.

When it comes out on Tuesday, I strongly recommend checking it out.

Playing Hooky

What’s the deal with Senators skipping out on the Alito hearings for extended periods of time? Could you egomaniacs at least pretend that you aren’t just sitting there waiting for your turn to be on TV? Try paying attention, you might learn something.

Cry Me A River

Here’s the best reason I’ve seen yet for Alito to get a free pass in his quest to be confirmed for the Supreme Court. Because those mean Democrats were hurting his wife’s feelings :

The wife of Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito left his confirmation hearings in tears Wednesday.

Martha-Ann Bomgardner, who had sat behind her husband for hours of questioning over several days, left as her husband was being questioned by Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina.

“Are you really a closet bigot?” Graham asked Alito. The nominee said no, and Graham said, “No sir, you’re not.”

Graham’s questions came after withering questions from several Senate Judiciary Committee Democrats.

Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah suggested that she was upset with the questioning from Democrats. “She’s sick and tired of the mistreatment of her husband,” Hatch said.

It’s nice to see Orrin Hatch jump to the defense of Alito’s wife, but I don’t remember any chivalry on Hatch’s part when the Republicans oversaw the publication of a pornographic report detailing the intimate details of Bill Clinton getting his dick sucked. Because of Hatch and his band of merry perverts, it’s common knowledge that the President came on an intern’s dress, that he stuck a cigar in her vagina, and that there was oral-anal contact at some point. These filthy revelations were included in the Starr Report and sold in every bookstore in America without a single word about “mistreatment” from gentlemen like Hatch. I’d be willing to bet that mistreatment made a few family members cry too, but being coy about membership in a racist and sexist organization is off-limits, I suppose.

For what it’s worth, I can think of a lot of people who will look like this if Alito is confirmed :


crocodiletears.jpg

If Alito can’t stand the “mistreatment” of answering questions about his personal views, then maybe the President should nominate someone a little tougher for the bench like Richard Simmons or Hello Kitty.

Religion For Sale, But I’m Not Buying

Question for regular readers of this site : Have I somehow sent unconcious signals that I’m on a spiritual quest of some sort? A recurring theme lately in the emails I’m getting is that I need to find religion. Remember that guy who called me “venal, evil and sick”? Well, here’s part of what his slightly saner Pastor Bob wrote me :

By the way, they oughta take my Bible if I said I was going to save you. Greg, I can just bring you The Word (LK 5:1, HB 6:5) but it’s all on The Big Guy to wash sin away and make you born ANEW (JN 3:7, 1PT 1:23) and to be a Warrior For Christ (EZ 39:20, ZP 3:17). Can’t make ya, but sure would like to! I’d love to have you with us on the Other Side, but this is something EACH MAN must decide (JO 34:4) and I cannot- nor would I ever try- to bully you into accepting that which is the GREATEST GIFT man can receive (PS 18:46, IS 25:9). But this is not only what I do, Greg, this is WHO I AM.

Blood of the lamb, blah, blah, blah…To go from wingnut land back to the calm voices that one would expect from someone who’s found inner peace, I recieved a very thoughtful email from reader Philip whose comments were along the lines of the “Free Will” arguments in comments. At the end of his letter, he asked “are you a full-fledged athiest?”. I’ve never heard of anything being partially-fledged, but I wrote this as a response :

I dunno if I’d describe myself as a “full-fledged” athiest. I don’t believe in a higher power of any sort, but I’ve become very disenchanted with the term “atheist” lately. It seems to be a label used by people opposed to religion in general and I’d rather not describe myself with a word that has so many negative connotations. I’m not a fan of the term agnostic for similar reasons since it implies an active search for spiritual truth when I feel that my search, for the most part, is over and just doesn’t include a god.

If pressed to come up with a better term, I’d say “non-theist”, but that seems to have academic overtones. The whole idea of lumping athiests togethere seems kinda silly, as if we’re all attending “God is dead” meetings and the like. What’s worse is that there are athiest organizations that are actively anti-religion that, despite being great resources for religious commentary, I’d rather not be a part of. I’m not aganist other people believing, it’s just not for me.

What surprised me was that Philip’s response didn’t take issue with the conclusions I’ve reached, but the fact that I’ve reached any conclusions at all :

In regards to you saying your spiritual search is over, my guess is you must be a zombie then, or some kind of undead being. How can any rational, living person not strive to better themselves, be it spiritually, physically, or mentally? To give up on honing, refining any of the main components of the individual is tantamount to just laying down and dying.

I will not say that you need to join any specific religion to find fulfillment, but the search itself is invaluable, and undertaking it even with the expectation of failure is certainly more admirable than simply ignoring the issue.

Does making up your mind about your religious beliefs constitute “ignoring the issue”? If so, then I’d say it puts me in the company of 99% of the world. Just because you’re not looking for answers doesn’t mean you’re close-minded. I read about religion quite a bit, but out of intellectual curiosity, not a search for spiritual meaning.

But taking me back to my original point, as much as I love reader feedback, proselytizing to me is a waste of your time. And before you think this behavior is strictly a Christian phenomenon, here’s the kicker from an email I recieved from reader Tammy complaining about my “ingorance” over a PETA ad comparing chicken farms to slavery :

Those of us who care, are not blind to suffering. Where is your true heart? The one that occupies the soul? Curious, have you ever tried meditation? I allows you to become aware of your surroundings, and your place in it. But, don’t take my word for it, experiment a bit.

Tammy, have you met Pastor Bob? I think you two might get along…

The Fruits of the Republican Bribery Scandal

Jeez. Is there anything GOP stalwarts wouldn’t do to help out Jack Abramoff and his tribal gaming buddies? First we have Ralph Reed stabbing the entire evangelical community in the back by exploiting their anti-gambling views in order to favor Indian casinos :

Mr. Abramoff and Mr. Reed worked together to urge Christians and evangelical leaders to oppose casino openings and pro-gambling legislation in Louisiana. Behind the scenes, the pair’s campaign succeeded, bolstering the Coushatta Tribe’s casino business by eliminating competition.
. . .
Mr. Abramoff first hired Mr. Reed, a prominent evangelical who once called gambling “a cancer,” to leverage his evangelical contacts to defeat pro-gambling legislation in Alabama in 1999. Mr. Abramoff hatched the campaign to protect the gaming interests of one of his clients, the Choctaw Tribe of Mississippi. While Mr. Reed worked to rally Christians for campaigns that benefited Mr. Abramoff’s clients, Mr. Abramoff’s partner, Michael Scanlon, wrote an e-mail to Kathryn Van Hoof, a former lawyer for the Coushatta Tribe, describing the plan to use Christians: “Simply put we want to bring out the wackos to vote against something and make sure the rest of the public lets the whole thing slip past them. The wackos get their information [from] the Christian right, Christian radio, mail, the internet, and telephone.”
. . .
Mr. Reed has admitted funneling $1.15 million from the Choctaw Tribe to two anti-gambling groups in Alabama, including the Christian Coalition of Alabama (CCA), in 2000. In 2001, Mr. Abramoff hired Mr. Reed to rally evangelicals to oppose casino openings and pro-gambling legislation in Louisiana to protect the interests of the Coushatta Tribe. E-mails released by a Senate committee late last year show that Mr. Reed knew the Coushatta Tribe was Mr. Abramoff’s client. (In his plea agreement, Mr. Abramoff has admitted charging the Coushattas $30 million for his work, and pocketing nearly $11.5 million without the tribe’s knowledge.)

Other e-mails and faxes released by the Senate show that Mr. Reed organized TV and radio ads, as well as a letter-writing campaign, enlisting prominent evangelicals to help in the Abramoff-orchestrated campaign, including Focus on the Family’s James Dobson and Tom Minnery, former presidential candidate and family-values guru Gary Bauer, Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly, and American Family Association head Don Wildmon.

A veritable Who’s Who of Republican religious stooges. Far be it from me to point out that they’ve been getting used by the big business wing of the GOP for decades now. A few choice words about “values” and they can get those guys to do anything.

Also on the “selling the government to the highest bidder” tip, now we’ve got word that Tom Delay was pestering the Justice Department to shut down rival casinos :

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay tried to pressure the Bush administration into shutting down an Indian-owned casino that lobbyist Jack Abramoff wanted closed — shortly after a tribal client of Abramoff’s donated to a DeLay political action committee, The Associated Press has learned.

The Texas Republican demanded closure of the casino, owned by the Alabama-Coushatta tribe of Texas, in a Dec. 11, 2001 letter to then-Attorney General John Ashcroft. The Associated Press obtained the letter from a source who did not want to be identified because of an ongoing federal investigation of Abramoff and members of Congress.

“We feel that the Department of Justice needs to step in and investigate the inappropriate and illegal actions by the tribe, its financial backers, if any, and the casino equipment vendors,” said the letter, which was also signed by Texas Republican Reps. Pete Sessions, John Culberson and Kevin Brady.
. . .
The letter also was sent to Interior Secretary Gale Norton; the U.S. attorney for Texas’ eastern district; the chairman of the National Indian Gaming Commission and Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who took over when Bush was elected president.

Its author appears to have been unfamiliar with the Alabama-Coushatta. It said the tribe was based in “Livingstone,” and that the tribe had opened a casino “against the wishes of the citizens of Alabama.” The tribe’s reservation is in Livingston, Texas.

Cue the GOP talking points in 3…2….1….

“I’m sorry, who was that you’re referring to? Tim D. Laye? There are over 400 members of Congress, so forgive me if I’ve never heard of him.”

We’re All Liars Here

Grassley applies the Senate standard of honesty to the Alito hearings :

GRASSLEY: But I think in regard to Vanguard, the point ought to be made that you did nothing wrong. You didn’t violate any law or any ethics rule.

And the point’s being made that maybe you did not remember a promise you had made to this committee — well, let me assure you, don’t lose any sleep over that. If senators kept every word they made to their constituents, there wouldn’t be any senators left.

Sure, you lied to the Senate under oath, but it’s no biggie. It’s not like you were talking about bj’s or something.

Bribery Scandal

Bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal

Democrats and Republicans are falling over each other to introduce “lobbying reform” bills — requiring lobbyists to disclose contacts with legislators, banning trips, etc. By the end of next week, we will have between two and four lobbying reform packages, and will enter a ridiculous debate about which bill would leave fewer loopholes.
. . .
That’s the other side’s frame. This is not a lobbying scandal. It’s a betrayal-of-public-trust scandal. Lobbyists have no power, no influence, until a public servant gives them power. That’s what DeLay and the K Street Project was all about.
. . .
But every time we say “lobbying reform,” we reinforce the idea that it is only the lobbyist who is the wrongdoer. Sure, many lobbyists are slimy and aggressive….But no one forces any legislator or staffer to accept lunches, trips, or favors from a lobbyist. And the reason not to do that is that the legislator risks surrendering some of her power, which is a public trust, to these private interests.

Bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal, bribery scandal…

The Imperial March

We’re no longer a nation of laws. This is a despotism (via BTC News) :

President Bush agreed with great fanfare last month to accept a ban on torture, but he later quietly reserved the right to ignore it, even as he signed it into law.

Acting from the seclusion of his Texas ranch at the start of New Year’s weekend, Bush said he would interpret the new law in keeping with his expansive view of presidential power. He did it by issuing a bill-signing statement – a little-noticed device that has become a favorite tool of presidential power in the Bush White House.

In fact, Bush has used signing statements to reject, revise or put his spin on more than 500 legislative provisions. Experts say he has been far more aggressive than any previous president in using the statements to claim sweeping executive power – and not just on national security issues.
. . .
In some cases, Bush bluntly informs Congress that he has no intention of carrying out provisions that he considers an unconstitutional encroachment on his authority.

“They don’t like some of the things Congress has done so they assert the power to ignore it,” said Martin Lederman, a visiting professor at the Georgetown University Law Center. “The categorical nature of their opposition is unprecedented and alarming.”

The White House says its authority stems from the Constitution, but dissenters say that view ignores the Constitution’s careful balance of powers between branches of government.

You don’t get to interpret the law, Mr. Bush. That’s the job of the judicial branch. You also don’t get to write the law, either. That’s for the Congress. Your job is to enforce the law, period.

Bush and his legal advisers offer a variety of arguments to support their claims to power. In their view, the Constitution’s directive that “the president shall be commander in chief” gives Bush virtually unlimited authority on issues related to national security.

They also rely heavily on the “unitary executive” theory to resist congressional directives to federal agencies. The theory rests on the Constitution’s clause that says that “executive power shall be vested in a president.”

Bush has cited the theory, which has not been fully tested in court, more than 100 times in his signing statements.

Skeptics say the president and his advisers overlook the Constitution’s checks and balances, noting that the Framers had a deep distrust of excessive executive power, having rebelled against a king. The Constitution gives Congress the power to declare war, and shared power over executive spending, for example.

It’s amazing that our current leaders are so insistent on re-arguing 230 year-old debates. What’s even worse is the fact that our cowardly legislative branch is letting the new King George win. Weldon at BTC News has some good speculation on why the House and Senate are so unwilling to do their constitutional duty to act as a check on executive power :

I’ve speculated on a few occasions that the White House has had a tacit agreement with Congress: So long as Congress doesn’t interfere with the administration, the president won’t interfere with the drunken-sailor pork bender that distinguishes this Republican Congress from all others. The thesis was based on Bush’s historic reluctance to veto a bill, or even to threaten one; he’s the only president since James Garfield to go an entire term without vetoing a bill, and Garfield was only in office a few months before he was shot.

Apparently, though, the explanation is much simpler. Bush doesn’t veto bills because in his view, he doesn’t have to; he can simply ignore the ones he doesn’t like.

So as long as the President doesn’t veto their bridges to nowhere, the Congress is all to willing to help the President shred whatever’s left of the constitution. We all knew they were whores, I just didn’t realize they’d work this cheap or sink this low…

Privacy For Sale

This is an egregious invasion of privacy, but…

In some cases, telephone company insiders secretly sell customers’ phone-call lists to online brokers, despite strict telephone company rules against such deals, according to Schumer.

And some online brokers have used deception to get the lists from the phone companies, he said.

“Though this problem is all too common, federal law is too narrow to include this type of crime,” Schumer said last year in a prepared statement.

The Chicago Police Department is looking into the sale of phone records, a source said.

Late last month, the department sent a warning to officers about Locatecell.com, which sells lists of calls made on cell phones and land lines.

…while they haven’t been taken down yet, does anyone know Bob Novak’s phone number?

A Brown-Nosing Bad Actor

So you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger and you wanna keep your job. How do you do it? Step one, kiss the asses of the voters who just kicked yours :

I’ve thought a lot about the last year and the mistakes I made and the lessons I’ve learned. What I feel good about is that I led from my heart.

Now it’s true that I was in too much of a hurry. I didn’t hear the majority of Californians when they were telling me they didn’t like the special election. I barreled ahead anyway when I should have listened.

I have absorbed my defeat and I have learned my lesson. And the people, who always have the last word, sent a clear message — cut the warfare, cool the rhetoric, find common ground and fix the problems together. So to my fellow Californians, I say, “Message received.”

Next make an outrageous promise that you can’t possibly keep :

We cannot spend more than we have, but at the same time we cannot afford costly delay in investing in critical infrastructure. The reality is that we face more than $500 billion in infrastructure needs over the next 20 years.

With this first phase of our Strategic Growth Plan, we will take a 10-year chunk out of that need. This plan will leverage $70 billion in bonding capacity over the next ten years to achieve a total investment of more than $200 billion. And we can do it without raising taxes.

“…at least, not until I’m safely out of office”.

Of course, if you want to promise people the world, it helps to gloss over the details with a laundry list of proposals punctuated by a hook that comes right out of “The Idiot’s Guide to Political Speechwriting” :

Now let me give you an idea of where we would invest the money over the next ten years:

Transportation. Traffic does not have to keep getting worse. It can get better. If we add 1,200 miles of new highway and HOV lanes into congested areas, and add 600 miles of mass transit, we can actually reduce traffic delays in the next ten years, even as our population grows and at the same time this investment in transportation will create 150,000 new jobs for our state. I say build it.

Air Quality. Congestion on our roads and in our ports pollutes our air. Pollution decreases our productivity and increases our health care costs. When one in six children in the Central Valley go to school with an inhaler, it is time to consider clean air as part of our critical infrastructure. We have the technology to clean our air. So I say build it.

K-12 Education. In the next ten years, a quarter of a million more students will be attending our schools. To meet this need, our plan over the next decade proposes construction of more than 2,000 small schools, 40,000 classrooms and modernizing another 140,000. I say build it.

Higher Education. California’s system of colleges and universities is an enormous asset that fuels our innovation economy. In the next ten years, we must prepare for more than half a million new students. To meet the infrastructure needs of higher education, we need new classrooms, libraries and science labs in hundreds of new buildings on our campuses. I say build it.

Water and Flood Control. We have done little to expand our water supply in nearly 50 years. We must build more storage capacity, expand our delivery network and strengthen our levees. The Strategic Growth Plan increases our water supply to serve an additional 8.5 million people, supports our agricultural industry and doubles the amount of flood protection in the Sacramento area — better shielding us from a Katrina-type disaster here at home. I say build it.

Public Safety. Local jails and state prisons are so overcrowded that criminals are being let out or left on the street because we have no room to lock them up. Our proposal provides for two new prisons, a new crime lab, emergency response facilities and space for 83,000 new prisoners over the next ten years. We must keep the people safe. I say build it.

Courts. Our courts are as congested as our roads and our prisons are, but something even more basic to our democracy is at stake — justice. Justice delayed is justice denied. So our Strategic Plan includes 101 new courts, 56 renovations and 44 expansions, so that justice will not be denied at home. So I say build it.

“The Deficit. Some people point out that we’re already up to our necks in debt and want to know where we’ll get the money. I say borrow it.

Taxes. We’ve been cutting taxes for the rich while doing little for the poor. How can we increase spending? I say borrow it.

Cronyism. If we’re bringing less money into the treasury, we need to find a better way to reward the corporations who have bought my soul. So I say borrow it.

Fiscal Responsibility. I came into office promising to do something about the financial problems this state was experiencing, but realized that I can’t pander to voters while making the deep cuts to social services that I want. If we want to save my political career, I say borrow it. ”

Finally, running as a Republican in a blue state, you have to take a “tough” stand against your party to show people you aren’t just a partisan hack. What’s the best way to do this without making any promises you’ll have to follow up on? By taking a stand on an issue over which you have no control :

Health care. I ask myself, what’s the quickest way that we can help the greatest number of people with the spiraling health care costs? I believe in the free market. I believe in free trade. I mean we buy food from overseas. We buy cars from overseas. Why not prescription drugs? So I call upon the federal government to permit the safe importation of prescription drugs. I say, let the free market work.

I’m sure Arnie will be working the phones on that one…

“George, could you do me a favor and allow us to import prescription drugs? Pleeeeaaassseee??”

So here we have Arnie going back to his old tricks. Last year, he pushed his agenda on the people of California through a bunch of ballot initiatives. This year, he’s going to push his agenda on the people of California through a bunch of ballot initiatives. Lemme guess….you’ll “be back”?

Finding A Better Spokesman

I applaud this question from Atrios, but I think it’s a bit misguided :

So who would represent the views of conservative evangelicals better than Pat Robertson? It’s a serious question – I have no idea – but most of the prominent media figures who are supposedly representing those views don’t seem to be significantly different from Robertson to me, though maybe I’m just not picking up on the differences.

I’m not trying to be snarky here, it’s a serious question. I’d quite like the views of religious conservatives to be represented by people who are less nuts than Pat Robertson even if I subscribe neither to their religion nor the politics. Let’s put these people on TV!

Not to be a dick about it or anything, but if Pat Robertson doesn’t accurately reflect the views of conservative evangelicals, then that’s their problem, not ours. I’d ever insist that fundamentalists should answer for Robertson’s words, but if others assume Pat Robertson speaks for their community, then they, as a community, have the responsibility to correct those misconceptions.

Pat Robertson is the most prominent religious figure in this country. He’s the cornerstone of a billion-dollar religious empire who reaches millions through his tv network, books, and other media ventures. If you’re a Christian who doesn’t like Pat Robertson, then you need to take back your religion from the hucksters who’ve hijacked it. Amy Sullivan mentions people like Rick Warren and James Dobson, but where are they every time Pat Robertson says this kinda crap? I’m not trying to trot out the “silence=acceptance” canard, but Pat Robertson says something this nutty every few months and I can’t remember the last time I saw a pissed off conservative Christian leader say “He doesn’t speak for all fundamentalists” except in response to liberal criticism.

Like it or not, Pat Robertson is one of the unofficial spokesmen for conservative Christianity in this country. If you’re a fundamentalist who has a problem with that, then you need to make an effort to change that perception. This means complaining to media outlets that use him as a representative of your views and not being afraid to throw him under the bus for saying things that make you mad. Like I said last year in my post “Take Back Jesus” :

But the perception that Christianity is an exclusively right-wing religion isn’t going to go away until the silent majority of Christians stand up and take their religion back. Yes, you should correct people on the far left who make the mistake of assuming everyone who reads the Bible is in league with Fred Phelps, but you should be equally vigilant in regards to the mainstream press. If an AP article uses the word “Christian” to describe Pat Robertson without qualifying it with an adjective like “evangelical”, write a letter to the editor. If CNN implies that someone is conservative because they’re religious, flood their switchboard with complaints. Most of all, don’t let anyone get away with implying that you’re betraying your own faith just because you disagree with the Republican party.

And please hurry. I’m tired of getting email from morons who can’t recognize the distinction between attacking Pat Robertson and attacking Christianity in general.

Movie Review Haikus

Good Night and Good Luck
Slow paced, somewhat dry, well shot
“The more things change…”, huh?

Everyone’s racist
Unsubtle message in Crash
Poor man’s Magnolia

Sarah Silverman
Hilarious potty mouth
Stick to the stand up

Go see Walk The Line
Acting, music, love story…
Like Ray with a plot

Haven’t seen King Kong
Is it really three hours?
Big ape, big movie

Not From The Reality-Based Community

The wingnut whose letter I posted yesterday wrote me back and it’s even crazier than before. See if you can count how many liberal strawmen he mentions :

That’s nice language you use there, young man. What a charming example of the “me me me” generation you’re a member of, caught in the web of your own lies and then dismissing your interlocutor as “F” and whatever else.

This is because you deny human dignity. Tell me, you didn’t mention abortion, gay marriage and other sickness of our times and mocking insults to the RIGHTEOUS God, but you support them all don’t you? My point is, you have an agenda, most assuredly, and mocking the death of Regan, being jubilant as Ariel Sharon lies in a coma and snickering behind your “hip” facade as our heroes come home from Iraq minus an arm or a leg is all part of how you and your type acts and behaves. It is awful, it is cruel, and- sorry, “dude”- it IS venal, sick and pathetic.

God WILL NOT be mocked. Have you not paid attnetion to the disasters that have occured in the past year? How blind can a man be, how deaf can he remain, when GOD sends every sign and blares every trumpet. This is JUSTICE speaking, my friend, and if you thought Katrina was bad, apparently you have never read the TRUE story of THE Flood and how this iniquitous realm has been washed to death before.

So it shall happen again.

You use those miners to push an atheistic creed masked by your “innocent” anti-Bush agenda. You attack Bush because you loathe God, and our President represents faithful values you are sworn to destroy.

If you want to have this out, that is fine. But I DO NOT want any more of your obscenity on this computer, as my children use it. I have a “filth free” home young man (this is a new concept in Christian homes and one you should be aware of!) and that means no nudity, no homosexuality (or any of this “tolerance” you try to make it out to be- what about tolerating God and an honest debate about YOUR religion, evolution, huh?) no taking the Lord’s name in vain, and no graphic de-sensitizing violence in video games, books or movies. Oh, and I suppose I don’t have to mention this, but no deviant sex or abortion either. :)

You have said what you said, but like a typical liberal, you don’t have the guts to back it up. “Oh, you took me ou of context!” is all I hear you clowns say. Have some intestinal fortitude, young man! Boy, if O’Reilly got hold of you, I wonder if you could “spin” your gloating over those dead miners!

Admit it: you hate the coal miners because they were raping “Gaia”, isn’t that it? Coal is a “fossil fuel” (why, from all those dead dinosaurs, I bet!) and hurts the ozone layer and blah blah, they were “eco-terrorists” or something? We Christians aren’t the insulated fools you make us out to be. My Pastor has a study group every Wednesday night after Worship where he lays out the liberal agenda to the men of the congregation so we can keep our families INFORMED and SAFE. Information will be the liberal Waterloo.

Come to Christ, Greg, and take all that hate out of your soul. The “pleasures” of this temporal world will lead to AIDS, cancer and DEATH. Then the REAL torment starts. Eternity is a long time, friend. Swallow your pride, prostrate yourself before Jesus and accept His love. Otherwise…the path you are on will lead to nothing but ruin. Think about it. I will pray for you.

Reading this stuff is just exhausting. How can you have a conversation with someone who won’t read/listen to a word you say? He attacks words I haven’t written and then dismisses my protests. He attacks me and then has the audacity to act like a victim because I casually drop an f-bomb. This reads like a greatest hits of wingnuttia.

But this is the part of the letter that makes me hope this is just a well-executed parody :

You have said what you said, but like a typical liberal, you don’t have the guts to back it up.
. . .
We Christians aren’t the insulated fools you make us out to be. My Pastor has a study group every Wednesday night after Worship where he lays out the liberal agenda to the men of the congregation so we can keep our families INFORMED and SAFE.

So maybe I should just argue with his pastor instead.

Is God A Murderer? Pat Robertson Thinks So

I really like the way the way the “Undoing A Miracle” post has prompted a discussion about religion. It’s nice to have a readership that is intelligent enough to read the questions I asked for what they were and not just assume I was making some sort of inane “Bad things happen, therefore god doesn’t exist” argument. Nevertheless, my inbox got one of the most wingnutty comments I’ve recieved in a while :

You know, I just read your tirade about the miners who were killed in West Virginia and have to say that even for a liberal you have reached a new low. Of all the vile disgusting crap I’ve ever seen in my life, using the deaths of these 12 men (and the grief of their poor families!) to further your agenda is as sick, as loathsome, and as downright nasty as anything ever done by your kind anywhere.

When liberals openly rejoiced at the death of Ronald Regan, I knew what kind of filth we were dealing with. But this, men who have never done anything but WORK (an alien concept to “men” like you, obviously) in order to drive the engine of American energy, and then you GLOAT over their deaths to pursue your atheist, secular humanist, abortion rights/gay marriage/evolution agenda- man, you just are a sick mother, that’s all there is to say.

How you can live with yourself and keep such a black heart beating in your breast, to be such a vile speck as to use death and tragedy as a vehicle for your sick beliefs- my God, I have forwarded this to all of my contacts, and especially to media sites. The American public needs to see the true face of liberals, and man is it ugly.

I wish you would stand in the face of those families and tell them how their husbands, brother’s and son’s death disproved God. You are sick and evil, and that same God will see you burn in Hell.

All I can do is pray for you. For you truly are venal, evil and sick.

I’ll put my response to this jackass in the extended entry, but for now, the reader does have a point. You’d have to be an evil sonofabitch to exploit this tragedy to pursue your agenda (via TPM) :

The Rev. Pat Robertson said Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is being punished by God for dividing the Land of Israel. Robertson, speaking on the “700 Club” on Thursday, suggested Sharon, who is currently in an induced coma, and former Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, assassinated by an Israeli extremist in 1995, were being treated with enmity by God for dividing Israel. “He was dividing God’s land,” Robertson said. “And I would say, Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations or the United States of America. God says, This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.”

I hadn’t realized that god was an assassin who takes orders from televangelists. I’m sure prayer time at the Robertson household is a hoot :

“Dear Jesus, please kill the following people….”
Continue reading

The GOP Agenda

Heh. Somebody on NPR just made a reference to news getting in the way of Bush’s “2006 agenda”. With Abramoff flipping, the CIA leak probe still on simmer, the NSA spying, the promise of that Phase 2 investigation into misused intelligence, and various assorted scandals, the Republican agenda this election year can be summed up in four simple words :

Stay. Out. Of. Jail.

Good luck with that one, guys. You’re gonna need it.