A president invoking national security to defend wrongdoing? I dare you to not think of George Bush while watching this video.

Interesting applause line there, Mr. President.

Here’s a re-run of one of the Easter Eggs I dyed a couple of years ago. When you’re celebrating someone raising from the dead, this seemed oddly appropriate.

And since it’s been a while since I’ve posted any bunny pictures, here’s a photo of Dig-Dug that my wife took :



Next year, I need to figure out a way to crash a Passover Seder.

Josh Marshall has this odd bit of news :

Grover Norquist said he was trademark the phrase ‘K Street Project’ and would sue anyone using it in an improper fashion. It turns out Norquist is just trademarking the ‘K Street Project’ logo. Norquist will be able to make exclusive use of the logo to produce “product ratings of the consumer goods and services of others in the field of posting the most recent job hires in Washington DC’s premier lobbying firms, trade associations, and industries.”

It’s bad enough that these guys built an organization around the revolving door culture that rewards public servants with jobs in the private sector, but now they’re trying to turn it into a brand name? I’m sure they just want to put the logo on a few souvenirs….

But why stop there? I’m sure there are plenty of products that would cater to K-Street’s clientele :

Or maybe they’ll just start a line of K-Street branded “Get Out of Jail Free” cards. They’re gonna need ‘em.

I’ve had this fantasy for a little while now that at some point in the mid-60′s, John Lennon turned to Paul McCartney and said “We’re the biggest band in the world and we’re named after a fucking bug.” Or maybe I read something like that somewhere. I don’t remember. Either way, it’s funny how something that starts off as an inside joke or an off-the-cuff idea ends up being something you’re stuck with forever. Who knew that a tribute to Buddy Holly’s backing band The Crickets and a play on the word “beat” would end up being the word used to describe the most famous and influental band on Earth? Or that a blog title pulled out of nowhere and kept because it seemed memorable…

That’s right, I hate the name of this site. When I started blogging over three years ago, I wanted something simple and easy to remember. As I was thinking up ideas, I remembered how much I love watching the Spelling Bee every year with my friends. Writing for an audience of strangers for the first time, I felt like those kids on stage, confused, awkward, shy, etc. It seemed like a pretty good fit, though somewhere through the brainstorming process, “The Spelling Bee” turned into “The Talent Show”.

Fast forward to now and every time I see the words “Talent Show”, I feel like everyone assumes I chose this title because I’m an arrogant prick, when really I still feel like I’ve got more in common with that kid who sounds like a musical robot. The name of the site seems so far removed from that tiny nugget of a not-very-good idea I had in 2003 that I can’t help but think the words “Talent Show” conjure images of a self-righteousness egomaniac who’s set up a blog to highlight his own brilliance. The idea that the name of this site might give people the exact opposite impression of what I want to convey really bugs me.

So that’s that. I’ve been thinking about renaming the site for a while now, but every idea I have is either taken or stupid or fraught with its own problems. At the very least, I wish the name of the site had something to do with politics. Should I even bother?

The Republican scumbags in Washington and their well-trained Democratic toadies can all go to hell as far as I’m concerned. It’s hard to hide my rage over the fact that the poverty rate has gone up every year of the Bush presidency, yet we’re greeted with infuriating news like this :

IBM, for example, is banking a $2.8 billion refund—well, better to call it a “tax savings”—because instead of paying the normal corporate tax rate of 35 percent on $9.5 billion in profits it earned overseas, the company paid only 5.25 percent. That’s the magic of the American Jobs Creation Act, a piece of legislation that passed with comfortable margins in both the House and the Senate and was signed into law by President Bush just two weeks before the 2004 elections.

The AJCA, which was pushed through during the last fit of panic about outsourcing, was ostensibly designed to encourage companies to add jobs here. It gave a small tax deduction to American manufacturers, and it offered a one-time tax holiday in 2005 when corporations could repatriate their foreign income at a massively reduced tax rate. This repatriation, the theory went, would encourage R & D and capital investment in the United States, leading to new positions down the road. But, like President Bush’s creatively named Clear Skies initiative and Healthy Forest Restoration Act, the American Jobs Creation Act has not lived up to its title.
. . .
Analysts anticipate that American companies will have repatriated around $350 billion in 2005 as a result of the law. While it’s hard to make a straight calculation because of the vagaries of the tax code, that works out to a savings of roughly $104 billion on corporate America’s tax bill. At Pfizer, the pharmaceutical giant that announced the single largest repatriation—$37 billion—the one-time windfall works out to approximately $11 billion. That kind of tax savings buys a lot of $600-an-hour lobbyists, though not, apparently, many scientists and salespeople. In its annual report, Pfizer doesn’t list employees by region. But the company’s total head count dropped to 106,000 at the end of 2005, about 8 percent fewer jobs than at the end of 2004.

I know I’m sounding like a shrill liberal here, but screw it. The American government should never, ever trust corporations. No, not because of some cartoonish fantasy of a CEO devising new ways to poison the environment and eat babies, but because looking after our best interests isn’t their job. Their job is to make as much money as possible, period. I’m not making a moral judgement here. Getting rich isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but we shouldn’t ever expect corporations to put aside their own financial interests for ethical concerns.

Which is why it’s so damn frustrating to see this supply-side bullshit pop up again and again. It seems like a truism that businesses care more about the bottom line that anything else, but that level of common sense is absent from our government today. I’m all for capitalism and I think the stated goals behind a lot of conservative economic incentives are pretty good. Give tax breaks to corporations to reinvest in the country and help create jobs? Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, I said it, I agree with the Republicans. I just wish the Republicans agreed with the Republicans.

When a politician tells you they want to cut taxes to help jumpstart the economy, create jobs, or whetever, they’re lying to you. Yes, there are schools of economic thought that support their trickle-down theories, but these aren’t honest differences of opinion, they’re shameful lies. If they really thought their tax cuts would benefit working Americans they’d put it in writing. There’s nothing stopping politicians from making their tax cuts only apply to companies who create X number of jobs or invest a certain percentage of their profits within the U.S., but that never happens because conservative politicians are for the most part too craven to put their money where their mouth is.

Now corporations are laughing all the way to the bank with $104 billion in tax refunds and all we can do is sit back and wonder why people still believe a word that comes out of the mouths of the corporate whores in Washington D.C. Of course, that’s just how they wanted it. It doesn’t matter whether or not we feel robbed, the getaway car escaped a year and a half ago.

If you’re a Democrat, you might want to figure out how you’re going to vote in the Iranian War Resolution of 2006. “What war resolution?” you might ask, but don’t be so naive. We all know that from a marketing standpoint you don’t introduce a new product in August…I mean, April. Right now we’re in the viral part of the marketing campaign. Just like you can’t sell floor cleaner to someone who doesn’t think they have a dirty floor, you’re not going to convince people to nuke Iran without making an argument that they’ve got it coming.

Seriously, how would Democrats respond to a use of force resolution against Iran? The obvious answer would be to oppose it on the grounds that the Bush Administration has already shown itself to be dishonest and incompetent with Iraq, but do the Democrats in D.C. have the guts to vote against a war resolution, especially when it concerns a country that, in contrast to Saddam Hussein’s caginess, is openly flaunting its nuclear technology? Considering that it was a Democratic Senate that gave Bush the authorization to invade Iraq in 2002, I have my doubts about whether the current slate would be willing to risk looking weak on national security in order to do the right thing.

Things look peachy for the Democrats right now, seven months out from the midterm elections, but let’s not confuse disgust with the GOP with an infatuation for Dems. Even now with all of the troubles the GOP has had, I’d be willing to bet they’re a scare tactic away from regaining their strength in the polls. If th Democrats want to win in November, they need to start connecting the dots for the American people before they get put on the spot. It’s not enough to wring your hands in public and hope for the best, you’ve got to make the case again and again that Republicans are wrong for the country and that they can’t be trusted with another war. If you must, make jokes like “The Bush Administration wants to bring their Hurricane Katrina style of leadership to Iran”, but do something. Please.

Y’know, I’ve given Bill O’Reilly a lot of flack over the years for being a bully, a blowhard, and a fool, but you’ve gotta give him credit for one thing. He really is the only person on TV standing up the the secular left in defense of Christian symbols like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny (via C&L) :

The problem is even worse than O’Reilly points out. At the last meeting of the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy™ Barbara Streisand gave a PowerPoint presentation about ways to remove the Tooth Fairy from the public square and Michael Moore spoke at length about how the Bush Administration has been largely fabricating the serious threat posed by the Boogey Man. Needless to say, their hatred of Christianity was on full display.

I’ve noticed the idea of increasing the minimum wage has been popping up recently. Awesome idea that’s long overdue, so you know what that means. Endless whining from conservatives about small businesses being forced to close their doors and layoffs for the people who we’re trying to help. To listen to them, you’d think a modest increase in take home pay for the working poor is the tipping point that lead us all into the gutter. Put aside the fact that these supposed advocates for the poor and small business owners only seem to show their love when it’s an issue that would cost their campaign contributors money, here’s the real reason why these arguments are garbage.

The Fair Labor Standards Act was passed in 1938 and set a minimum wage of $0.25 per hour. Here’s what FDR said in one of his fireside chats shortly after signing the bill :

After many requests on my part the Congress passed a Fair Labor Standards Act, commonly called the Wages and Hours Bill. That Act—applying to products in interstate commerce-ends child labor, sets a floor below wages and a ceiling over hours of labor.

Except perhaps for the Social Security Act, it is the most far-reaching, far-sighted program for the benefit of workers ever adopted here or in any other country. Without question it starts us toward a better standard of living and increases purchasing power to buy the products of farm and factory.

Do not let any calamity-howling executive with an income of $1,000 a day, who has been turning his employees over to the Government relief rolls in order to preserve his company’s undistributed reserves, tell you—using his stockholders’ money to pay the postage for his personal opinions-/that a wage of $11 a week is going to have a disastrous effect on all American industry.

Since then the federal minimum wage has been raised twenty five times. Yet if Republican doomsday scenarios are to be believed, does that mean we’ve had 25 economic crises? What about all of the state-specific minimum wage laws? Have more progressive states like California been bleeding jobs due to their fairer wages? We’ve had a minimum wage in this country for almost seventy years, so why are we still dealing with the save executive crybaby act?

Is obstruction of justice a “high crime” or a “misdemeanor”?

From the Skeptic’s Dictionary entry on “trepanation” :

Trepanation is the process of cutting a hole in the skull. According to John Verano, a professor of anthropology at Tulane University, trepanation is the oldest surgical practice and is still performed ceremonially by some African tribes. A trepanned skull found in France was dated at about 5,000 BCE. About 1,000 trepanned skulls from Peru and Bolivia date from 500 BCE to the 16th century.

Bart Huges (b. 1934), a medical school graduate who has never practiced medicine except for a bit of self-surgery, believes that trepanation is the way to higher consciousness. He says that he wanted to be a psychiatrist but failed the obstetrics exam and so never went into practice. In 1965, after years of experimentation with LSD, cannabis, and other drugs, Dr. Huges realized that the way to enlightenment was by boring a hole in his skull. He used an electric drill, a scalpel, and a hypodermic needle (to administer a local anesthetic). The operation took him 45 minutes. How does it feel to be enlightened? “I feel like I did when I was 14,” says Huges.
. . .
In the past, trepanation was used either to relieve pressure on the brain caused by disease or trauma, or to release evil spirits. The former is still an accepted medical procedure. The latter has died out in those parts of the world where scientific understanding has replaced belief in invading demons.

I bring this up as a roundabout way of saying that I’d rather drill a hole in my head that write another damn post about the corruption of George W. Bush…but I’m a political blogger and writing about this crap is my lot in life, so I’d better get used to writing the same post over and over until 2008.

Can there be any doubt that George Bush as one of the most corrupt and dishonest political figures in our nation’s history? He’s a man whose arrogance and incompetence have led to a string of scandals that combine the worst aspects of Teapot Dome, the Pentagon Papers, Tammany Hall, the Whiskey Ring, Watergate, and more. Misleading the public about the Iraq war, the use of torture as an interrogation tactic, spying on American citizens, looking the other way while war profiteers raid our treasury, diverting war funds without Congressional approval, blah, blah, blah. You’ve seen variations of this lists everywhere, yet corruption has become so normal at this point that the Bush’s latest misdeed, selectively and secretly “declassifying” a national intelligence estimate to provide to a single Administration-friendly reporter (aka. “leaking”), feels like more of the same. Just this morning the President admitted to another impeachable offense, yet it’s hard to muster the energy to write about this without outrage overload kicking in.

With the ever-growing mountain of evidence showing George Bush’s serial betrayal of the public’s trust, is is any wonder that the President’s best defenses are to parse the letter of the law in a way we used to call “Clintonian”, insist that everything’s on the level because his lawyers said it’s okay (that didn’t work for Enron either), or to shrug aside his lawbreaking as mere technicalities that are justifiable because the President’s only concern is to “keep the American people safe”. The only people who believe this crap now are full-fledged members of the Bush personality cult. It doesn’t matter what the President says or does because he’s the kinda guy you’d wanna grab a beer with. If my drinking buddy says it’s okay, I believe him. Or as they say in Jonestown “Have you tried the Kool-Aid? It’s delicious!”

Needless to say, this probably isn’t going to get any better. The lack of oversight in Congress will leave as big a stain on the Legislative branch as Bush Jr. is leaving on the Executive. Again and again we’ve sat there dumbfounded as the GOP (and for a brief period in 2001-2002, Democratic) Senate and House have, in the words of Firedoglake, rubber-stamped everything the President has asked for. At a certain point, you’d think a sense of professional pride would have kicked in among our 535 representatives in Washington that would compel them to defend, if not the interests of the American people, the interests in their own branch of government enough to have them uphold their constitutional duty to act as a check on executive power, but I guess the quid pro quo that came with a veto-less presidency is enough to buy their silence with an endless supply of government handouts. I know it’s fashionable to decry the death of “real” conservatism, but that simple complaint overlooks the fact that honor, responsibility, and honesty were all collateral damage in this war between moneyed interests and the American people.

The obvious question, though, is “What the hell do we do now?” The obvious answer is to “throw the bums out”, but replacing the corrupt Republicans with well-trained Democratic lapdogs didn’t work out so well last time. Since our two-party system makes the “lesser of two evils” vote our most attractive option, I’m willing to take the gamble again, but I’m still hoping that the opposition party steps up to the plate and offers a compelling alternative to our current partisan malaise. I’m not impressed with the occasional poll-driven barnburner speech that contradicts the political jockeying that’s happening behind the scenes, nor am I impressed with the press releases released under a politician’s byline that are turned into blog posts or fundraising emails. As a passionate member of the Democratic base, I’m begging you guys to stop kissing my ass. I’ve got a finely-tuned bullshit detector and I can smell you coming from a mile away. If you want to earn my respect, try taking a principled stand on something. The American people are begging for a politician with the guts to say “I don’t care if it’s popular, this is the right thing to do and I’d rather go down in flames on principle than sell my soul for job security”, but you guys are too busy listening to consultants and looking at poll numbers to see the forest for the trees.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some anesthetic, a scalpel, and a power drill. Let me know when it’s election day.

I’m sure you’re as sick as reading the DeLay/Jesus posts as I am of writing them, but this bit from an interview he gave to Time yesterday is too good to pass up :

TIME: Your smiling mug shot—what made you think of that and what do you think the consequence of that has been?

DeLay: Oh, I don’t know. I said a little prayer. First of all, you only get one take. It’s a very humiliating thing, to be booked. And I said a little prayer before I actually did the fingerprint thing, and the picture. And my prayer was basically: “Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.”

I guess Photoshopping DeLay’s mugshot onto Jesus was even more fitting than I thought, though if I really wanted to “let people see Christ through [him]“, I should have adjusted the opacity on the layer with his face.

Just to make things perfectly obvious (and since people rarely click on all the links), here’s the Bible verse that I linked to in my previous post with the words “the people most likely to pat themselves on the back for being Christians “ :

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

DeLay’s a hypocrite, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

My friend Brian just emailed me one of the weirdest videos I’ve ever seen. For your amusement, here’s a shaky video of what appears to be Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi dry-humping a meter-maid :

Ummm….Silvio. What the hell are you doing?

UPDATE : Dammit. I knew it was too good to be true. Knowing this is fake makes the video a million times less cool. It’s jumped from “OhmygodIcantbelivehejustdidthat!” to “a less-funny version of Benny Hill”.

Since I’m already pissing off religious people today, I might as well get this one out of the way. Whenever I read articles like this…

Rare conditions could have conspired to create hard-to-see ice on the Sea of Galilee that a person could have walked on back when Jesus is said to have walked on water, a scientist said today.

The study, which examines a combination of favorable water and environmental conditions, proposes that Jesus could have walked on an isolated patch of floating ice on what is now known as Lake Kinneret in northern
Israel.

Looking at temperature records of the Mediterranean Sea surface and using analytical ice and statistical models, scientists considered a small section of the cold freshwater surface of the lake. The area studied, about 10,000 square feet, was near salty springs that empty into it

…or this…

The senior researcher at St. Petersburg’s Institute of Oceanology spent six months studying the tides, winds and reefs common to the Red Sea, then developed a series of differential equations to chart out the parting of the waters, as detailed in Exodus 14.

“And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided,” the King James Version of the Bible states.

Mr. Volzinger determined that if a strong wind blew at 30 meters per second over a shallow reef, then yes, it could have blown that reef dry. He also calculated it would have taken the fleeing Jews about four hours to make their crossing.

…I can’t help but think of this :

Whether you use a crucifix or a twenty-sided die, this stuff is just geeky.

I’ve written a few times about the arrogant, anti-worker subtext of the “jobs Americans won’t do” lie, but I never thought a Republican would be dumb enough to come out and say it. Cue the Republican party’s biggest panderer :

Sen. John McCain threatened on Tuesday to cut short a speech to union leaders who booed his immigration views and later challenged his statements on organized labor and the
Iraq war.

“If you like, I will leave,” McCain told the AFL-CIO’s Building and Construction Trades Department, pivoting briefly from the lectern. He returned to the microphone after the crowd quieted.
. . .
Later, the senator outlined his position on the Senate immigration debate, saying tougher border enforcement must be accompanied by guest-worker provisions that give illegal immigrants a legal path toward citizenship.

Murmurs from the crowd turned to booing. “Pay a decent wage!” one audience member shouted.

“I’ve heard that statement before,” McCain said before threatening to leave.
. . .
But he took more questions, including a pointed one on his immigration plan.

McCain responded by saying immigrants were taking jobs nobody else wanted. He offered anybody in the crowd $50 an hour to pick lettuce in Arizona.

Shouts of protest rose from the crowd, with some accepting McCain’s job offer.

“I’ll take it!” one man shouted.

McCain insisted none of them would do such menial labor for a complete season. “You can’t do it, my friends.”

Some in the crowd said they didn’t appreciate McCain questioning their work ethic.

“I was impressed with his comedy routine and ability to tap dance without music. But I was impressed with nothing else about him,” said John Wasniewski of Milwaukee. “He’s supposed to be Mr. Straight Talk?”

True, sounds a lot more like Mr. Condescending Asshole, but he’s always sounded like that to me so what do I know?

Jesus Christ! Tom DeLay’s friend is a loony :

There are those who would say Tom DeLay lost his job as House majority leader because he was indicted by a Texas grand jury on charges of money laundering and conspiracy, or because of his extensive ties to lawbreaking lobbyist Jack Abramoff. But they would be wrong.

In fact, the Texas Republican fell from power because he is a Christian.

That, at least, is the view of Rick Scarborough, convener of a conference this week called “The War on Christians.”

“I believe the most damaging thing that Tom DeLay has done in his life is take his faith seriously into public office, which made him a target for all those who despise the cause of Christ,” Scarborough said, introducing DeLay yesterday. When DeLay finished, the host reminded the politician: “God always does his best work right after a crucifixion.”

Or to put things visually, here’s what DeLay’s followers think of him :

This guy trivializes the sacrifice of his own god by comparing them with Tom DeLay’s self-induced political troubles, and we’re the ones who are supposed to be anti-Christian?? Jesus deserves better than to be fronted by assholes like Tom DeLay. And just to prove (like I should have to) that I don’t blame Christians or Christianity for the self-righteous bloviating of egomaniacs, here’s one (of many) of my favorite bits from the Bible :

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’”

Despite being an atheist, I look forward to a day when the people most likely to pat themselves on the back for being Christians start paying attention to the things Jesus had to say.

UPDATE : I got an email from Jonathan Schwarz reminding me of this earlier bit of DeLay-as-Jesus absurdity :

As we leave First Baptist, I ask DeLay about the many citizens who would be quite uncomfortable with the idea that he would mold the government in the belief that his religion – fundamentalist Christianity – had the only answers to society’s problems.

DeLay looks me squarely in the eye and shakes his head sadly. “When faced with the truth, the truth hurts. It is human nature not to face that . . . People hate the messenger. That’s why they killed Christ.”

You’d think comparing yourself to Jesus would be considered blasphemous, but based on some of the responses this post has received blasphemy only seems to be a problem when it’s done by a liberal. If you’re offended by the photo (which I totally understand), why would you be more offended by a tongue-in-cheek visualization of a sacrilegious metaphor than the serious statements that inspired it? Save your rage for the politicians who would belittle the suffering of Jesus by comparing his slow, bloody death with the political and legal fallout that has stemmed from their own corruption.

Only cowards like the GOP leadership would have the temerity to hide behind the Bible when forced to atone for their own crimes. Samuel Johnson was wrong. DeLay and his allies have shown us that religion is the real last refuge of a scoundrel. If you care about your faith more than your political party, I’d recommend taking Jesus back from the scumbags who have hijacked him for partisan purposes. You deserve better.