The Decline of Western Civilization
Spotted in line at the grocery store…
It looks like The Onion, which recently had an article titled “Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?”, is once again forced to play catch-up to reality. Our society’s only hope for redeption lies here.
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Having adopted a cat, one 16 pounder (three pounds overweight according to the vet) I must say that this in epiphany for me. My first thoughts were that today we have the mouthpiece of God right in the Whitehouse! True he does not hang with the poor and the downtrodden as the original Jesus did but this is a modern day Christ! When God speaks to him and tells him to jump George asks how high? Of course the ancient Pharos of Egypt had no need to talk to God because they were God so of course I am waiting for the next logical step with bated breath for the day George announces “I am God” thus saving himself a lot of money on all those long distance phone calls.
So since George, soon to be God, is actually the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost, what ever the Holy Ghost may be, I had a local artisan paint a picture of George in my toilet bowl thus when I potty train BeBe (my overweight cat now on a diet) he will think of George/God every time he takes a poop.
Now only one problem awaits us. Where will we put the great pyramid of Bush? And of course we need to have a Sphinx to go with our great pyramid of Bush so we shall need plenty of room for the great pyramid of Bush and the sphinx so I was thinking we could drain Bush’s eleven acre lake and build these new constructs right there on his holy ranchero so that all and sundry could behold it and marvel and ponder the great sacrifices that Bush has made to make America unto Disneyland where cherubic chipmunks sing Christmas carols the whole day long, whoops, I mean Bushmas carols.
Comment by rob payne — May 22, 2006 @ 2:09 pm
Boy, I’d have to recommend just sprinkling your cat. Full immersion baptism sounds like a risky proposition.
Comment by jimmarquis — May 22, 2006 @ 5:34 pm
Really? My cat LOVES water. Although I don’t think he’ll go near a bathtub.
Comment by Charles Brubaker — May 23, 2006 @ 12:21 am
Glad to hear that someone cared enough about that feral cat to nueter it. More people should care so much. We could avoid those attempts to create a cat hunting season. Can’t say wether any cat is old enough to be told about Jesus, but Jesus is the property of the money changers now and you will need their permission.
Comment by Kamachanda — May 23, 2006 @ 2:14 pm