I know I’m supposed to be shitting my pants and pledging my undying support for the GOP, but with every report I hear, see, or read about the “homegrown terrorists”, I just laugh harder and harder. I know I just posted about this, but I can’t help it. Whenever the report gets to this detail I just lose it :

Batiste gave the supposed al Qaeda representative a shopping list of materials he needed — boots, uniforms, machine guns, radios and vehicles.

Six days later, Batiste outlined his mission to wage war against the U.S. government from within using an army of his ‘’soldiers” to help destroy the Sears Tower. He also gave the informant a list of shoe sizes for his soldiers.

On Dec. 29, the informant delivered the military boots to Batiste, who expanded his shopping wish list to include radios, binoculars, bulletproof vests, firearms, vehicles and $50,000 in cash.

I can’t help but imagine the “terrorist” leader and his gang sitting around their headquarters (perhaps in an abandoned toy factory?) saying something like “Cmon, boys. I need to get everyone’s shoe sizes by the end of the week. Al Qaeda’s gonna get us some terrorist shoes!” After that, they probably sit around drinking root beer and figuring out what they want their codenames to be when they get to be real terrorists.

“My codename is going to be Thundaar and I’ll carry a giant battle-axe!”

“I’m gonna be called Gigabyte and I’ll fight the devils with my bionic arms.”

“My codename is Raptor and I’m gonna throw snakes at people.”