You know the Bush Administration has lost its mojo when they can’t even fake a terror alert well.

The seven men arrested in an alleged terrorist plot believed they were conspiring with al Qaeda ”to levy war against the United States” in attacks that would ”be just as good or greater than 9/11,” according to a federal indictment unsealed this morning.

The campaign, which never advanced beyond the discussion stage, would begin with the bombing of the 110-story Sears Tower in Chicago, according to the indictment.
. . .
They apparently never had any contact with authentic representatives of al Qaeda. They were not able to obtain explosives, federal officials said.

”It was more aspirational than operational,” John Pistole, the FBI’s deputy director, said during the Washington news conference.

But the group asked the supposed al Qaeda representative to provide machine guns, boots, uniforms and vehicles, the indictment said.

So these guys had no money, no weapons, no contact with actual terrorists…hell, they didn’t even have uniforms. They’re nutcases who belong in jail, but they’re hardly the “homegrown terrorists” we’re hearing about.

”These homegrown terrorists might prove to be as dangerous as groups like al Qaeda,” Gonzales said.

At this point, those of us who lived in Oklahoma in the mid-90’s let out a collective “No shit, dumbass”. It’s nice for the head of the Justice Department to state this reality, but they’re the same ones who have been spent the last half-decade refusing the use the word “terrorist” to describe any American criminals who aren’t SUV-hating hippies. But even compared to the “eco-terrorists” (who have actually firebombed SUV dealerships), these guys were smaller than small-time. These arrests weren’t even the result of a law enforcement operation, they just got turned in by the neighborhood watch :

Pistole, the FBI official, said the case was broken through a tip from the public.

”They came to our attention through pepple who were alert in the community,” he said.

Other authorities emphasized that the public was not in danger and all activities — including today’s parade in honor of the Miami Heat’s NBA championship — should proceed without undue alarm.

I wish these “other authorities” were on CNN. Instead we’re stuck with anchors and “experts” talking about how these dorks considered themselves “soldiers”. Which might be scary if these guys weren’t so pathetic that they couldn’t even buy their own damn shoes :

Batiste gave the supposed al Qaeda representative a shopping list of materials he needed — boots, uniforms, machine guns, radios and vehicles.

Six days later, Batiste outlined his mission to wage war against the U.S. government from within using an army of his ‘’soldiers” to help destroy the Sears Tower. He also gave the informant a list of shoe sizes for his soldiers.

I knew a guy a few years ago who would dress up like a ninja and sneak around his college campus. He also would show up at poetry readings wearing a Cobra Commander mask and shout threats at the audience along the lines of “You will all face destruction! COBRAAAA!!!”. He wasn’t a terrorist, he was just crazy. Same goes with these seven morons in Miami.