Posted By Ross

I’m a little late commenting on this, but in honor of my Tardiness, perhaps a better name for this post could have been “Not So fast, guys…”

I didn’t use to be as cynical as I am now. Where once I used to give the benefit of the doubt or at least, where once I tended towards the most mundane explanation of any event, now my BS detector goes off during episodes of Robot Chicken. Naturally, I know that part of this is a normal side effect of living, for a prolonged period of time, under a government that makes me feel like an alien in my own country. To be honest, 6 years of having to avoid political conversations with my family really grates. Hell, I can even feel slightly sympathetic to those loony, black-helicopter, militia-sympathising, Billary-r-teh-communism conservatives who saw threats to the very foundations of American liberty every time Bill Clinton even looked crossways at a camera.

No, I don’t agree with them or consider them reasonable, I merely understand how feeling alien in your own country, and being embittered by constant political defeat, can lead to a kind of political causal loop wherein you become more and more paranoid.

Of course, in the years since Billary left office, you may have noticed the critical difference between conservative conspiracy theorists and liberal ones: Liberals tend to be suspicious even when their guys are in charge. Conservatives tend to continue suspecting liberals even when their guys are doing exactly what they accused us of doing. Where, oh where are those “Get U.S. out of UN” guys now that their boy is turning the bill of rights into a bill of suggestions? But I digress.

There. Caveat dutifully applied. I admit my suspicious cynicism. And now that I’ve got that out the way, I can disregard it because, and I know I’m alone on this one, I’m definitely not taking any of the hype about how the Republicans secretly despise their Funduhmentalist base, at face value, or any value for that matter. I don’t buy it.

For those of you who don’t know, what I’m referring to is Tucker Carlson’s appearance on Chris Matthews last weekend, where he came right out and said (via atrios):

The deep truth is that the elites in the Republican Party have pure contempt for the evangelicals who put their party in power.

Oh no you di-int Tucker, you did not just go there!

Ah but he did. And soon after this “astounding” revelation, the plot thickens like thighs on thanksgiving. Via the Poorman, here’s the latest permutation of the sudden startling willingness of Republicans to shit all over their base:

…MSNBC’s Olbermann had a preview of a new book from the former No. 2 man in Pres. Bush’s Office of Faith-Based Initiatives. David Kuo’s “Tempting Faith” will be out 10/16.

Olbermann: “Kuo cites one example after another of a White House that repeatedly uses Evangelical Christians for their votes while consistently giving them nothing in return… According to Kuo, Karl Rove’s office referred to Evangelical leaders as the ‘nuts.’ … When cufflinks were not enough, the White House played the Jesus card, reminding Christian leaders that ‘The knew the president’s faith’ and begging for patience. …

The Poorman comments, in a post called “Chumps,” thusly:

Blah-blah no respect blah blah abuse of power blah blah unconstitutional blah blah useful idiots … Ooooooooooo! Free cufflinks!

But are they Chumps? Let’s think about it for a moment. If Tucker and Former White House douchebag are telling the truth, then of course this is terribly shocking news (ews ews ews). Why, it would mean that the Religious Right, long acknowledged as the rock-solid, endlessly loyal base of the Republican party and, if Barak Obama is to believed, the single most strategically important voting block (and the real-est of All Americans!) are a bunch of Mark Ass Bitches. Suckaz! Well obviously it has to be true because it makes perfect sense that, with mere weeks to go before an election, both a former Bush White House official, and a well known Republican Talking Points Ventriloquist Dummy like Tucker Carlson, would rush to make sure that this information is as widely distributed as is humanly possible. Because as we all know, the one thing that two well known, ardent Republicans would want to do just before an election is to fuck over the last bastion of true right wing loyalty.

Sure. That makes perfect sense.

I know a lot of bloggers o’ the left are having a blast right now, gloating about the foot-in-mouth hilarity of not one, but two fairly prominent Republicans telling us what we want so desperately in our hearts to believe. Hell, I think the Religionic Crowd are hilariously idiotic too. They believe nonsense and they’re doing everything they can to make sure their nonsense is law. But disregarded by God’s Own Party? Ninja please. Don’t believe it for a second. Here’s the juice: Contrary to what Thomas Frank argues in “What’s the Matter With Kansas,” and contrary to what Tucker says, in fact, the Religious right might just be one of the most consistently rewarded interest groups in Modern American politics.

Don’t believe me?

Ask Chief Justice Roberts about his views on Abortion.

Ask public school officials how Abstinence only education is going?

Hell, ask every single outspoken Atheist or Secular Humanist about their chances of getting elected anywhere east of Los Angeles and South of Chicago.

Oh, while we’re at it, anyone out there read anything about how Americans finally kicked Intelligent Design Charlatans out of American Schools, en masse, and returned learning to the people who know something about science? Or about how the FCC stopped disproportionately responding to the complaints of a tiny minority of Religious Funduhmentalists? Ah, I didn’t think so.

Yes, it must really suck to be right wing and religious right now. Because no one in government does anything for you except, you know*, giving you two Supreme Court justices, Abstinence Only education, support for intelligent design and a ban on Stem Cell research, national prayer day, a compliant FCC and constant (and I argue, sincere) attempts to make gay marriage against the law constitutionally. Wow. How I wish the democrats would disregard my wishes on such a massive, insulting level.

I’m not saying that Fundies are controlling the whole country yet. But if anyone here can name another interest group (aside from the Credit Card companies and the oil industry) who exercises a similar amount of cultural and actual political influence, while at the same time enjoying the benefit of a strange sort of political correctness that demands you cannot actually argue with them, because you would be disrespecting their beliefs (thus rendering any meaningful debate impotent), I’ll buy you a coke.

Which brings me back to my deep and admittedly entrenched cynicism. I admit I’m very embittered, but I find it very odd that, just before a crucial election, news would emerge that suddenly paints Bush in a less than fanatically christian light. It seems suspicious, in the same way the recent sharp drop in gas prices (similar to the drop that occurred about this time in 2004) does. I’m not saying it’s deliberate, but it is rather fortunate that, just when Bush is in danger of losing a significant number of voters who aren’t crazy, he-is-coming-soon freaks, suddenly word comes out that makes it clear he isn’t actually on their side.

So, will this news keep them home? Maybe a few but for the most part, I doubt it. Their eyes are on the prize. They know that as long as Republicans keep winning, they’ll get the only prize that matters – Supreme Court Justices who hate Abortion, Feminism, Secularism, sexual liberty and birth control.

My apologies, because I don’t have much of a conclusion. Just let me ask you all reading this – What’s your take on this news? Do you think it fits? Do you think I’m being stupid and paranoid (I’ll gladly accept that. I’m rather embarrassed at my skepticism). Are the religious right really just a bunch of dupes?

And here’s a couple of more serious questions:

1) I think Barak needs to STFU about how we need to court these people. We’re liberal. They’re not. They will never vote for us. Am I wrong? What should the left do about the religious divide, and political ramifications of that divide?

2) Does it matter if the religious right stays home? Is it short sighted to hope to win an election based upon diminished turnout? Is there anything that can be done to cultivate our own rock solid interest groups? And if so, what are those groups?

*I thought greg would enjoy my using this expression.