Hilarious! Ted Haggard’s confession is almost like a “greatest hits” of ludicrous excuses :

Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.

Haggard resigned Thursday as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and stepped down as leader of his Colorado megachurch while the two groups investigate the allegations.

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

“I bought it for myself but never used it,” he said. “I was tempted, but I never used it.”

So Teddy Boy made a drug deal, but didn’t do drugs? I seem to remember Bill Clinton being a laughingstock for trying to make a similar argument. And the “only received a massage” excuse is the exact same one that former Senator Chuck Robb used when caught having an affair. If there’s a hidden camera video of Haggard saying “bitch set me up”, then we’ve hit the trifecta, folks.