- Number of minutes spent watching The Dove Awards, a Christian music awards show, from the treadmill at the gym : 30

- Number of times I laughed to myself thinking they should call this “The Jesus Grammy’s” : 4

- Ratio of number of laughs at “The Jesus Grammy’s” to laughs at the premiere episode of “Flight of the Conchords” : 1 to 1

- Time elapsed during the premiere of “John from Cincinnati” before dismissing it as an “artificially quirky snore-fest” and concluding that the title character is little more than a “retarded Jesus” : 10

- Episodes of the “retarded Jesus” show I’ll watch before giving up on it completely : 3

- Average number of times per week I think “Just when I thought Giuliani couldn’t get any worse…” : 3

- Percentage of the 2008 Presidential coverage wasted on the same “Will he run?” story (or so it seems) : 75%

- Money you’d waste on an iPhone data plan assuming a $29.95 cost and the 2-year minimum contract : $718.80

- Number of times watched the “Dramatic Chipmunk” video this week : at least 25

- Number of times watched without laughing out loud : 0