Well damn it, I am TOTALLY opposed to this, but for once, Bush actually makes a good point and, I think, has found a positively Solomonic solution to this a tricky situation. Sometimes, despite the amount of ire we may have for him, Bush reminds us all, even his detractors, of the Leader Americans elected in those Halycon days before 9/11, before Everything Changed, and I think this might be the beginning of his long delayed comeback.

Shit, I’m impressed, and I’m a liberal! Bush has somehow managed to simultaneously appease those who clamor for Scooter’s heads and his defenders! After all, Scooter’s reputation will be fucked, and he can’t practice law anymore but he won’t be imprisoned for longer than such a decent man deserves.

I suppose at the end of the day, Liberals can at least comfort themselves that, while Bush magically managed to deflate both sides, Scooter will still suffer somewhat significantly. American Justice, though imperfect, is still the best the world has to offer, and thank god for thahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahHAHAHHAHAHhhHAHAHAHAHhah… (cough cough cough.)

Whew.

No, sorry, that was actually Richard Cohen and David Broder’s next 15 op-eds, predicted here for your amusement. In fact, this is a 100% slam dunk ass kicking for the conservative POV. The so-called liberal elites in Washington and the conservative, ahem, I mean, independent commenters, both of whom have been slathering Libby’s reputation-cock with their salivating paeans to his good and decent decency, will be hotter than I, at age 14, when my friend Neil and I discovered his grandfather’s 4 box collection of hard core pornography. It’s going to be a sticky and musky night in Washington, D.C., let me tells you.

For those of you wondering how this breaks down, rest assured that the commutation not only provided credible cover to the Bushies - Libby, having been sentenced, cannot be coerced to say anything further since the case is still on appeal. Thus, he still gets to plead the 5th if called before Congress. Also, his commutation guarantees that he won’t publish a damaging book about the administration - it also gave the fascist sympathizers in the press their long delayed catharsis, granting the next best thing to the pardon they’ve craved for Such a Decent Man!

Now they can literally have their cake and eat it too, just like real republicans - I predict a thousand variations of “what are you complaining about? It isn’t like Libby was pardoned - Justice was done commiserate to the crime, and still, he wasn’t unduly punished for something he didn’t technically do except he did. And don’t forget, B-b-b-b-b-b-but Clinton!!!!!”

And let’s not forget this little gem:

“”That’s fantastic. It’s a great relief,” said former Ambassador Richard Carlson, who helped raise millions for Libby’s defense fund. “Scooter Libby did not deserve to go to prison and I’m glad the president had the courage to do this.”"

Millions, aye? Gee, I wonder, what can Scooter do with that money now that he’s not going to jail. Damn, I guess the money’s going to go to WAIIT A MINUTE! Could those millions be applied to the 250,000 Scooter has to pay? EUREKA! Sounds like someone’s going to be cutting a check and then it’s time for vacation. Taking a bullet for the Bushies is hard work.

Jesus, it’s really good to be republican. Even when they lose, they win.

It’s the perfect solution, unless, of course, Democrats wake up and finally realize that there’s no winning with republicans. You have to punish the shit out of them. Eking out minor little victories is worthless. You have to go for the throat. Fortunately, we can guarantee they won’t.

Meanwhile, sure, Libby took one, a big one, for the team, but let’s not forget how super sweet wingnut welfare is. Shit, G. Gordon Liddy did real jail time for being the lead Plumber in the Watergate break in and now he’s a prominent talk show host and a go-to right wing fascist. Ollie North’s military career was ruined. Fortunately, he’s got that million dollar fascism career to fall back on.

I’m fairly confident all of this horrible damage to Libby’s reputation will be good for him. He won’t be able to practice law again, I mean, until Bush pardons him on January 22, 2009, but he’ll be a Lobbyist or a consultant for a conservative think* tank faster than you can say “Duhhh!”

*I use “think” in the loosest definition of the term.