These Colors Sorta Run
What happens when a grandstanding fool whipped into a patriotic fervor makes a sucker’s bet that George W. Bush would do a good job?
Bob Flournoy swore after 9/11 that he would wear the same patriotic tie until the day Osama bin Laden was captured or killed.He figured that it would take the USA a couple of weeks to find the notorious terrorist leader. Despite that miscalculation — it’s been almost six years — the city attorney has kept his word. He’s been wearing the same red-white-and-blue necktie since the attacks on America.
“It looks like Francis Scott Key’s Star-Spangled Banner,” Flournoy tells The Lufkin (Texas) Daily News. “It is faded, worn and tattered. It has been reworked, patched and pieced together. Velcro has been added around the neck because it is too fragile to tie and untie. It is smaller and even a little smelly, but it is still a grand old flag. Betsy Ross would be proud.”
. . .
“If Bin Laden is alive, I challenge him to prove it by Sept. 11, 2007,” Flournoy says. “If he does not come forward with some proof, I am personally going to declare him dead, and I will be able to take off my tie and give it a proper burial.”
Poor guy just wants to take off his smelly tie and in a few more days…
Crap. Osama just messed with the wrong Texan.
Flournoy said he has had enough of waiting for proof of bin Laden’s death. He thinks his friends and those around him every day will be very happy once he stops wearing the tie.“Flies kind of gather around me, and I don’t have quite as many friends,” Flournoy said.
. . .
“If by chance Bin Laden is not dead and proves it by Sept. 11th, I offer to meet him, man to man, at the park at City Hall and fight him to the death of one of us,” Flournoy said. “He just can’t kill Americans and get away with it.”Flournoy doubts his challenge will reach Tora Bora, but wants a way to put his tattered old flag tie to rest once and for all.
“It’s been fun, but the fun’s about to end,” Flournoy said.
That’s right, Osama. You’re about to get your ass kicked by somebody wearing a disgusting tie. Let’s Roll!
9 comments »
Copy link for RSS feed for comments on this post or for TrackBack URI
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
The tie isn’t the only thing that truly stinks.
Comment by bibimimi — September 8, 2007 @ 9:58 am
I’m bettin” on the guy with the tie. OSAMA a no-show, TieGuy wins by default.
Comment by Mike Meyer — September 8, 2007 @ 6:21 pm
This is so lame and stupid. The guy can’t take the tie to the cleaners? The guy is so dim he “challenges” bin Laden to come to his house and fight him?
Comment by Biff Usually — September 9, 2007 @ 11:25 am
“It’s been fun”???
He’s wearing a tie until the most notorious terrorist in the world is captured, and after six years of the President saying “I don’t really care if we catch this guy or not,” this guy smiles that “it’s been fun”?
Maybe if these guys spent less time having fun playing dress up they could have caught the fucker.
Comment by Scott — September 9, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
Bob Flournoy is a hero — someone who STANDS for something — someone with integrity and commitment. It is great to have great Americans who truly stand for something and is prepared to back up what they say with their actions. It is something how America seemed to be better after 9/11 — we came together — showed compassion, true grit and real love for mankind, with a resolve that there ARE some things worth fighting for. However, over time, we seem to have been a watered down bunch of folks — not hot or cold, but somewhere in between — something that God refers to as something that He will VOMIT out. I believe that there are those who are HOT that have a passion and determination for the foundations of America, — the freedom to worship the God of the Bible, to start with — something that Bin Laden and his cronies want to take away from us. I thank God for men and women who are working to keep us focused on what is going on here — we have an enemy that wants us destroyed. Mark my words — “JESUS” is the dividing line. I for one want to LIFT UP THE NAME of JESUS. Jesus deserves our honor and our praise. PRAISE BE UNTO THE NAME OF THE LORD — Jesus, the Christ!! AMEN!
Comment by Charlotte Sue — September 9, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
Anybody have a butterfly net?
Comment by Doobie — September 10, 2007 @ 5:17 am
Bob Flournoy’s tie is named Charlotte Sue?
Comment by Kamachanda — September 11, 2007 @ 2:34 am
The problem with Charlotte Sue’s post is that it is impossible to tell if it is sincere or satire. It could certainly be either way.
I mean, really, some guy is wearing a tie, so he is a hero who stands for something and has integrity and commitment? This is truly the stuff of comedy. But I have met people who truly think like this.
It’s kind of like the cartoonist in The Onion. When it is something that you can actually find in Real Life, is it really comedy?
Comment by Biff Usually — September 13, 2007 @ 12:01 am
Holy Shit! Charlotte Sue!
Comment by Joe — September 15, 2007 @ 3:08 pm