There’s something that puzzles me about some of the reactions and reactions-to-reactions that have followed the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. There seem to be these unspoken rules that it’s unseemly for presidential candidates to use this crisis to draw contrasts with each other and that the American media shouldn’t make this story “all about us” by linking it with domestic politics. The notion that discussing politics in the wake of Bhutto’s death is out of bounds is ridiculous. She was murdered by her political opponents, so unless you knew her personally (thanks for the reminders Sen. Clinton), any discussion of the assassination is inherently political.

When you’re president, you don’t get to pick and choose which crises you get to get to respond to (unless you’re George W. Bush), so at the very least, the candidates for the presidency better have something to say about Bhutto’s death. Considering that we’re only looking at 6-8 viable candidates for the next leader of our country, if any of these candidates have a reaction that highlights their differences, then it’s all the better for those of us who are trying to decide who to vote for. I’m not saying this to attack or defend any specific comments. If anything, some of the more crass reactions are as illuminating as the more substantive discussions of foreign policy. If a candidate’s reaction to this news is a tactless and substance-free attack on their opponent, then it’s good to know that about a candidate before stepping into the ballot box.

There are many reasons to bash traditional media outlets, but examining the effect that Bhutto’s assassination might have on the presidential race isn’t one of them. When the American media is reporting to the American public how the most important story in the world will effect the choice of who will be our next leader (a process that begins in less than a week), this doesn’t cheapen or trivialize the death of Bhutto, it adds context and highlights the importance of the issue. Most Americans probably didn’t know or care about Pakistani politics a week ago, but it’s an important lesson to the America people that this slain promoter of democracy was running against a military coup leader who’s considered a key ally to the United States.

Bhutto’s death will have a profound effect on international politics. There are key differences between the foreign policy positions of our current leader and those of the men and woman who are trying to replace him. Considering that presidential contests are largely decided on trivial differences, using an international crisis to highlight something more substantive than an expensive haircut or where a particular candidate went to elementary school is a good thing.

This commercial is going to haunt you.

I dunno what’s stranger, that somebody thought it was a good idea to promote this nasty-ass product on the Food Network or that the commercial itself makes little effort to hide the fact that the PedEgg is just a microplane grater for your feet. Ewwww…

Nicely played, Dan. I’ll see your Slade and Wizzard :

…and I’ll raise you a Kinks and Wombles :

And can we all agree that Switched on Santa isn’t nearly as cool as it should be?

One of the more hilarious quirks about religious life in America is the strange obsession with numbers. This story my friend Ross sent me the other day is a perfect example :

If you turn to the Bible — Isaiah Chapter 35, Verse 8 — you will see a passage that in part says, “A highway shall be there, and a road, and it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.”
art.

Now, is it possible that this “highway” mentioned in Chapter 35 is actually Interstate 35 that runs through six U.S. states, from southern Texas to northern Minnesota? Some Christians have faith that is indeed the case.
. . .
Some of the faithful believe that in order to fulfill the prophecy of I-35 being the “holy” highway, it needs some intensive prayer first. So we watched as about 25 fervent and enthusiastic Christians prayed on the the interstate’s shoulder in Dallas.

They chanted loudly and vibrantly, making many people in the neighborhood wonder what was going on. They prayed that adult businesses along the corridor would “see the light” and perhaps close down.

Did somebody forget to tell them that the “I” stands for Interstate, not “Isaiah”? It seems so bizarre that the fruits of the Interstate Highway System would take on some sort of religious significance, while equally important infrastructure improvements like Rural Electrification Administration and the Tennessee Valley Authority barely get any mentions on the pulpit. Then again, there’s a dark side to I-35 getting the same sort of devotion that’s normally reserved for curious-shaped potato chips and Christ-like water stains.

Jacobs also points out that perhaps there is a link between the area near this highway and tragedies that have happened in history, such as the bridge collapse on I-35 in Minneapolis last August and the assassination of JFK 44 years ago near I-35 in Dallas. That’s why prayer certainly can’t hurt, she adds.

Now, it’s only fair to say most people, the religious and the non-religious alike, don’t buy any of this, but none more than the owners of some of the adult businesses along I-35.

Highway to Heaven? More like Highways of Agony.

Every once in a while, I give in to the temptation to respond to some negative email. Here’s a recent email exchange that you might enjoy. The subject line : Wow, you got a blog!

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Amazing. You managed to do what millions of others have done. Now put something on it that matters.

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Ron Paul fan, I presume?

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Greg,

I would only say this, in the words of a once great Roman writer, “He cannot be strict in judging, who does not wish others to be strict judges of himself. It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.”
First, I didn’t write anything there that you didn’t invite on yourself by your criticism of others, but why don’t you promote your own great ideas? If you have them, then speak up and let the world hear! It solves nothing to simply attack others for their honesty and integrity if you have nothing to fill the void. So, go ahead, write more epithets if you will, but I think you owe it to yourself to find the positive vein of your thoughts and put those out instead. It’s obvious you’re intelligent, now let’s see your courage.

Ron Paul supporter and Constitution worshipper,
xxxx xxxxxxxxx

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Was the national anthem playing in the background when you wrote that email? There’s a righteous fury in your writing that seems like it’s begging for an overture of strings to accompany it.

I’m a little confused by your statement “I didn’t write anything there that you didn’t invite on yourself by your criticism of others”. Well…yeah. In case you hadn’t noticed, my site is full of comments by people who think I’m a freedom-hating dumbass who doesn’t understand how America *really* works. Not only do invite criticism, but I provide a forum in which people can publicly express their outrage at the things I’ve written.

Also, to speak to your suggestion that I promote my own “great ideas”, feel free to dig through my archives. I’ve been blogging for almost five years now and in that time I’ve written on topics such as healthcare, tax policy, immigration, gay marriage, abortion, gun control, poverty, and any number of issues.

Finally, mad props for the Cicero quote. Kinda reminds me of one of my favorite Cicero quotes, which applies nicely to Ron Paul mania :

“He only employs his passion who can make no use of his reason.”

I can understand the enthusiasm Ron Paul has generated to a degree. I’ve been opposed to the Iraq war since day one, but beyond that, a lot of his positions are as faith-based as anything out of the Bush Administration. Whereas the President’s faith is in God, Paul’s is in the free market, yet neither seems to hold up to scrutiny. We’ve already had the kind of laissez faire utopia that Ron Paul thinks will cure this economy’s ills. It led to the Gilded Age, industrial monopolies, children working in factories, etc. I’m open to the idea that various regulations are overly harsh or that government agencies aren’t doing a good job tackling the problems they were designed to address, but dismantling the government isn’t going to make these problems go away. Or to put things another way, you can’t save the country by replacing cumbersome bureaucracy with wishful thinking.

Ron Paul and his followers look at a vision of America with an incredibly limited government and call it “freedom”. I see the same thing and see “open season on the American public by moneyed interests”. Obviously there’s a balance that needs to be found there, but is Ron Paul the man to find that balance? From everything I’ve seen, he’s such an absolutist in his views that the answer would have to be “no”.

I like the constitution too,
Greg

I’ve got a more substantive post about Ron Paul waiting in the wings, but it’s a lot more fun to make fun of his supporters. So let’s make fun of the blimp again, shall we? Now that the entire planet stands on the cusp of near-religious awe in the presence of Ron Paul’s old-timey zeppelin, let’s take a closer look at the message this airborne revelation will carry. From RonPaulBlimp.com :

The Messages on the Ron Paul Blimp

The graphics/messages on the Ron Paul Blimp were carefully chosen by a team of people with diverse marketing backgrounds.

After employing what I’d guess is the marketing equivalent of trying to get a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to produce Shakespeare, they came up with this :

Now, if you’re like me, you’re looking at the blimp and scratching your head. With a team of people with diverse marketing backgrounds behind this, it’s understandable that the blimp’s message might go over your head. Luckily, the Ron Paul blimp folks are there to explain the message :

Who is Ron Paul?

We chose the “Who is Ron Paul” message because the reality is that most people do not know who Ron Paul is. “Who is Ron Paul?” inspires action in the form of a question.

A question “inspires action”. If you’re looking for additional inspiration, here’s an extra credit question for you : Why the hell would Ron Paul’s supporters waste their money on a blimp?

Google Ron Paul

Google is a verb in the dictionary. People know what this phrase means. It is commonly used in the main stream media. We chose the “Google Ron Paul” message because it is a call to action that people can do immediately; they cannot vote for a long time, and may forget about him by then. When they Google him, they will get a lot more info.

Ohhhhhhh….I get it. Google is a verb.

My favorite part of the blimp’s message is this :

No Election Messages

We specifically left off any reference to an election, because most people do not care about politics. We want to bring them back into the electoral process, and messages like the ones chosen — distinctly different than the same old boring way of advertising candidates — will do that.

Clearly the best way to bring people back into the electoral process is to avoid mentioning politics altogether.

As an aside, if you’re inclined to support Ron Paul, please donate to the effort to get him a full page ad in High Times magazine. It’ll be hilarious.

I’m not one who normally gives a second thought to professional sports, but I do get annoyed with the way the media goes crazy over trivial crap. So today as people are starting to work themselves into a frenzy over former Senator George Mitchell’s report on steroids in baseball, it would be nice to remind people that any conclusions are completely unreliable. Why? Because there’s a good chance that professional athletes have been unintentionally doping themselves :

According to a new study released today and commissioned by Informed-Choice LLC, a not-for-profit partnership between supplement companies and a world-class, anti-doping laboratory, approximately one quarter of supplements could be contaminated.

Fifty-eight supplement samples were purchased from popular retail outlets and Internet sites in the United States and sent to HFL*, the world’s most experienced anti-doping lab in the field of supplement testing, for analysis. Twenty-five percent of the samples showed the presence of steroid contamination while 11 percent showed the existence of stimulants. Samples were analyzed using a validated and ISO 17025-accredited method developed specifically for the qualitative analysis of supplements and used to detect the presence of low levels of steroid and stimulant contaminants that are considered prohibited by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA).
[. . .]
According to David Hall, HFL’s chief executive, the majority of the contamination is inadvertent.

“Although some supplement companies are aware of the banned performance-enhancing contents, the majority are not,” said Hall. “The levels of contamination are too low to be detected using routine methods, but high enough to possibly generate a positive urine test for an athlete. That’s why it is essential that supplement companies perform the proper testing of products to trace levels – using ISO 17025-accredited methods.”

With the promise that tomorrow’s report will “name names”, there’s a good chance that careers will be ruined because someone was unlucky enough to buy a supplement that was tainted with an illegal substance. With the presumption of guilt that surrounds these doping scandals, will the media, government, leagues, or public give anyone the benefit of the doubt?

I tend to assume that most of you also read This Modern World (the comic & the site) regularly, but for those of you who missed it, go check out Tom Tomorrow’s hilariously brutal takedown of Bill O’Reilly :

The strip was also the subject of a dramatic reading by Keith Olbermann.

A lot of people are snarkily pointing to the existence (and results) of last weekend’s Venezuelan elections as proof that Hugo Chavez isn’t a dictator. Point taken, but Bush Administration bluster aside, let’s not lose sight of the fact that Chavez’s attempt to amend the constitution to give himself “emergency powers” was a step in that direction. This former coup leader has milked the 2002 coup attempt for everything it’s worth. As far as I’m concerned, Chavez is just a left-wing version of George Bush. The world will be better off when both men are no longer in power.

My favorite part of last week’s Clinton hostage coverage? The shot that made it look like the swat team was going to take out Santa :

The immaturity of the Clinton campaign’s kindergarten attacks on Obama is stunningly lame. We’re supposed to believe that Obama is a cunning political manipulator because he wrote an essay titled “I Want To Become President” when he was five? If he wanted to be a fireman or an astronaut would that make him a flip-flopper? Equally weak is that they’re not trying to play it off as a subtle joke. How stupid do they think we are?

Finally, here’s an old Gahan Wilson strip that perfectly captures the sycophantic chumminess that has destroyed modern journalism.