Pouring some tea on the ground for all my dumb homies…
In the grand scheme of things, getting people to complain about taxes on April 15th might be the easiest thing in the world. It’s right up there with “eating ice cream on a hot summer day” and “laughing whenever Glenn Beck cries”. Bitching about taxes is America’s true pastime. So when a few thousand people gather on tax day to whine about their taxes (after getting massive tax breaks, btw), it’s hardly the second coming of the American Revolution. Hell, I remember a time six years ago when millions of people took to the street to protest the government. We all saw how well that worked out.
When their rallying cry is “Grrrr…I hate you TAXES!”, there won’t be a whole lot left to keep the tea bagging movement together after April 15th. Manufactured-populism and a fractured-understanding of American history will only take you so far. The great-great-great-great grandchildren of liberty will have to find some other crusade to motivate them like birth certificate forgeries or investigating whether Bo Obama was really a rescue dog. Sure, some die-hards will stick around like the asshole who keeps flipping through your DVD’s at three in the morning oblivious to the fact that the party is over, but within a few weeks, the only people left to carry the “tea party” torch will be the GOP & Fox News personalities trying to recapture the “good times” with all the subtlety and humility of Chubby Checker trying to get everyone to do the twist.
I’m going to miss the “Tea Party” movement. I’m going to miss the powdered wigs and the lunatic ranting. I’m going to miss the ideological uncertainty and the unpragmatic futility (seriously, you’re mailing tea bags to the White House to demand lower taxes after you just got a tax cut?). Most of all, I’m going to miss the jokes. These last few weeks have been a golden age for juvenile humor that passes for insightful political commentary. It’s a rare movement that chooses to describe itself with terminology that also means “testicle slapping” and those of us who relish in the foolishness of conservative activism will be much worse off for it.
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As entertaining as it has been to poke the sort of “shootin’-fish-in-a-barrel” fun at these poor folks, it is vitally important to realize just how unhinged some of these people are. They’re fed on violence and hate non-stop from ideologues who love to stir the pot for a good story. There are some legitimate beefs all Americans share about the bailouts and our economic strategies as a whole, but sadly these sorts of things aren’t just about a reasoned dialog over money. It’s also a platform for bigots and paranoid fanatics to go out in public and let their freak flags fly. Here’s hoping these fools not to go pulling any triggers the next time Beck weeps.
Comment by A-town advocate — April 15, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Dood, Greg, ya gotta stop hatin’ on Chubby Checker! He’s no Elvis, but the guy did some respectable R&B tunes in the early sixties. And he had a weird dance hit two years ago that went to number 1 on the Billboard Dance charts!
Comment by orangehairboy — April 15, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
Huhuh. Huhuhuh. Huhuhuhuhuuhuhuhuhuhuh. Huhuhuh.
“Teabagging.”
Huhuh.
Comment by briantologistq — April 15, 2009 @ 3:34 pm
The testicle slappers are so easily manipulated by conservative talk show hosts whose only goal is to remain relevant. So sad.
Comment by erin — April 15, 2009 @ 6:53 pm
There were more than two thousand protesters at the Madison event (I can’t remember when Madison hosted an antiwar protest as large as that.) Sure, some of them were crazy, including one guy who had an “Obama is the Antichrist” sign, but lots of them were also justified in their anger at the prospect of trillions of dollars being added to the national debt to bail out Wall Street bankers. If right-wingers are the only ones offering a channel for this popular outrage, then we’re all in serious trouble. Where’s the left response to the bank bailouts? My impression is that most Democrats aren’t giving it much thought beyond “Let’s hope Obama knows what he’s doing.”
Comment by SteveB — April 17, 2009 @ 1:33 pm
They have testicles? Maybe they should be neutered, just like Bo.
Comment by Becky — April 19, 2009 @ 5:28 am
Moron. Do you think of this crap while you are dressed up in your batman cape and tights, prancing around your yard looking for those nasty republicans to haul off to prison? Your mentality is of a five year old with dreams of utopia.
Comment by bill — May 7, 2009 @ 9:07 am