The Minds of Madmen
After the President’s conveniently-timed revelation about a foiled attack on Los Angeles, I contacted a few friends in the intelligence community and was able to get my hands on this IM conversation between Al Qaeda’s number two guy and Bin Laden’s second-in-command (on that org chart, everyone’s a VP).
OsamaMama : u there?
72Virgins : yeah, sup?
OsamaMama : martyr 4 life, bitch!
72Virgins : lol
72Virgins :
OsamaMama : turn on fox
72Virgins : k
OsamaMama : shes hot
72Virgins : who? the angry blonde?
OsamaMama : yup
72Virgins : dude, she looks like barney fife with a wig
OsamaMama : whatever. anns my gril
OsamaMama : girl
OsamaMama : i cant tpe today
OsamaMama : type today
OsamaMama : ARRGGGGGHHHH!!!!
72Virgins : nice.
OsamaMama : where you wanna hit the infidels?
72Virgins : i dunno. sears tower
OsamaMama : las vegas
72Virgins : space needle
OsamaMama : disenyland
72Virgins : disneyworld
OsamaMama : i just said that
72Virgins : no, you said land, I said world
OsamaMama : aren’t they the same?
72Virgins : no, dumbass
72Virgins : the white house
OsamaMama : the washington monument
72Virgins : brb
72Virgins : im back
72Virgins : the tallest building in texas
OsamaMama : the tallest building in los angeles
72Virgins : i got skills
OsamaMama : what?
72Virgins : nunchuck skills
72Virgins : bowhunting skills
OsamaMama : it’s a liger
72Virgins : flippin sweet
Seriously though, it’s hard to know what to think about all of these vague threats when the President is so blatant about politicizing them and mum on the details. Where these guys stopped at the airport or was this “plan” just something jotted down on a bar napkin? If revealing the existence of a spying program undermines our ability to fight terrorism, what are we to make of the President’s self-congratulations being on the cover of every newspaper? If it was so important to keep this incident a secret then, what were the changes that made it perfectly acceptable to blab about it now?
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why was L.A. never under Orange or Red allert during the time of the supposed thwarted attack?
oh yeah… that wasn’t during electin season, so there was no need to use that color-coded system.
i wonder if we’ll start getting some orange alerts when it get’s closer to the ‘06 election.
this administration never learned the moral of “Never Cry Wolf”
Comment by tomN! — February 10, 2006 @ 12:11 pm
I am still confused as to who actually prevented the attacks. I’ve read some reports that we had no hand in it whatsoever. It is rather obvious that the President whipped this out to get a more positive stance on the NSA situation.
It’s interesting that no one else knew about this “planned attack” after it was prevented. I wonder what other great tricks Bush has in store for us. “Watch as I twist this puppy into a balloon.”
Comment by Kryten Syxx — February 10, 2006 @ 2:11 pm
Sweet holy hell Greg - this is the funniest post ever!
Comment by Raznor — February 10, 2006 @ 3:07 pm
the mayor of LA said it was BS, since he was never even told/warned/nothing about it. if it was real, don’t you think that someone should have alerted LA officials? i mean wtf…
Comment by schramm — February 10, 2006 @ 3:54 pm
OsamaMama has excellent taste in women.
Comment by Throggs Neckface — February 10, 2006 @ 4:15 pm
I think you’ve hit the nail square on the head, dude.
Comment by serial catowner — February 10, 2006 @ 4:24 pm
Bread and circuses baby.
Comment by Kamachanda — February 10, 2006 @ 4:51 pm
Clearly no-one told him that 24 wasn’t real.
Comment by Nimrod Gently — February 12, 2006 @ 9:26 am
“the President’s conveniently-timed revelation” - wouldn’t the ELECTION have been more convenient? What’s convenient about this timeframe? That he’s catching shit from every direction, just like always? Nope, much as I hate to say it, there’s probably nothing sleazy about this revelation.
Comment by Bert Wiener — March 2, 2006 @ 11:34 am